Functionally Extinct

Wayne very hesitantly enters the Lair, not through the ceiling as he is accustomed but instead through the door, Roxanne by his side. God, Roxanne is walking through the place as if she owns it, not the slightest bit wary even when the Brainbots come up to bowg at her.

Wayne does not want to be here, but Megamind had called to invite him — his tone more urgent than Wayne had ever heard him — and if that's not enough reason to rush over in a complete panic then what is? And Roxanne had been invited as well, which was weirder still, and the entrance had been left open...

What if Megamind's dying? Or maybe Minion got kidnapped? Or this might just be a trick, but it doesn't quite feel like the little guy's style.

A hidden door opens in one of the walls, out of which steps Megamind. He glances very briefly at Wayne, then runs straight at Roxanne, enveloping her in a hug and doing that click-whistle thing he does when he's emotional. His eyes are dark blue and puffy, the way they'd always get when he cried back in school–

Nope, no, Wayne is not looking at those memories. He's a different person now, and if he thinks too hard on who he used to be he might lose control of his laser eyes, so no thinking about it. Focus on the present and don't think, that's always been easy enough for him, his go-to.

"Megamind, what's wrong?" Roxanne asks, hugging Megamind tightly, surprisingly okay with physical contact from the Supervillain. "Did someone hurt you? Is Minion okay?"

Megamind's voice does a really fucking weird warbling thing for a second before he chuckles wetly and answers. "N-nothing's wrong, it's far from wrong, I'm just– my apologies, Miss Ritchi, it's just been a very emotional week for me. I'm so glad you came, both of you." He glances at Wayne, expression hovering between a shaky smile and a pained grimace. "I did something, something, and... Gods, you're an ass, but I will do it for you too if you want. I swear I will, even if you don't really deserve it, because it's amazing and–"

"You still haven't told us what 'it' is, sweetie." Roxanne says softly, gently cutting off what Wayne knows would've turned into a rambling, confusing monologue. "What did you do?"

(Wait, 'sweetie'?)

"Oh, right!" Megamind bounces, grinning widely, and wipes at his eyes. "Come on, follow me! You're going to love this, Miss Ritchi!"

More weirded out than ever, Wayne floats behind Roxanne as she follows his nemesis down a hallway and into a large room filled with plants, two-thirds of the floor taken up by a pool.

A pool filled with tiny blue babies and glowing tadpole-things.

"Hello Mister Scott, hello Miss Ritchi." Minion greets them from inside the pool, his robotic suit discarded across the room. "I'm so glad you could join us."

"Oh my God." Roxanne whispers, which is more than Wayne can manage right now, so congrats to her. What the actual fuck. "Are, are those..?"

"Baby Minions and" Megamind makes a series of overlapping trills, then his eyes go wide. "Fuck, I'm going to have to make up a species name you guys can actually pronounce. That's... Fun, and definitely not another daunting responsibility to add to the growing pile of daunting responsibilities raising fifty children has added to my life."

Megamind laughs in a way that seems one part unhinged, one part terrified, and one part genuinely happy. Wayne remembers his own parents laughing like that a few times, but isn't entirely sure how to feel about that so stores it with the memories of school.

(He doesn't like storing memories like that — humans can't do it, not like he can, but he gave up trying to think like humans do a while ago).

"Can I..?" Roxanne asks, kneeling next to the pool and reaching her hand over the water.

"Oh! Yes, yes, if you want." Megamind nods frantically, clearing his throat. "Just, uh, don't lift any of them out of the water? The Minions can't survive more than a few seconds of airtime right now, and the... Blues can't lift their heads yet."

"Blues?" Roxanne chuckles, reaching under the water to gently caress a little blue baby. The baby coos at her, bubbles trailing harmlessly from their mouth, eyes shining a bright pink. "Not bad, but it's missing something. Maybe add the word 'mind' in somewhere?"

"Well–" Megamind hums in consideration.

"You cloned yourself!" Wayne bursts out, finally able to talk, interrupting the absurdly casual conversation. "And Minion!"

"Not precisely, Mr Obvious Captain." Megamind rolls his eyes, sneering in a way that seems more half-hearted than usual. Still, it's familiar enough to be grounding for the panicking Superhero/aspiring-secret-musician. "I did a comprehensive study of my and Minyon's DNA, then ran a series of simulations to figure out what was inherent to our species and what was more individual. I created new genetic code from scratch that is of our species without being related to either of us or each other, a process I plan to repeat in the future until there is a viable genetic pool."

"Sir brought both our species back from extinction." Minion happily translates, nuzzling some of the tadpoles. "They aren't blood-related, so they can mate and have children when they grow up. All we need to do is get a big enough starting pool, about five hundred we think, and then we're all set."

"Wait, you're going to raise five hundred children?" Roxanne blinks, alternatively staring at Megamind and Minion with wide eyes.

"A thousand, actually, since we'll need five hundred of each species." Megamind answers, the stressed-out-but-happy look back in his face. "I'm going to buy an island, and raise them in batches. I've got some uncles who are willing to help in exchange for getting them out of the country, and the Brainbots of course, but this is is most certainly going to take the rest of my life."

"You're leaving?" Wayne can't believe this. He can understand it, he can perfectly understand it, but still. "What about being a Supervillain?"

"I'm not exactly quitting, more like cutting back." Megamind sighs. "I'll set my uncles up, finish building the new Nanny Bots, and then I figure I'll alternate throughout the year; spend part of my time helping on the island, part of my time doing the usual in Metrocity. I'm not under any delusions, I can't directly raise a thousand children, this first generation isn't going to really know how parents work no matter what I do."

"Sir and I aren't going to give up everything for a goal we can't actually accomplish." Minion adds. "But we're going to do the best we can by these kids. Better childhoods than we got, hopefully. Oh! Did Sir already offer to..?"

It takes a second for Wayne's brain to catch up. To catch to the fact that Megamind had actually offered, not five minutes ago, to revive his species. "Um, wait. Wouldn't that add a thousand babies with superpowers?"

"Five hundred per species." Megamind says in that tone that meant Wayne had made a mistake. A tone he wilts under when it comes from anyone else, but is too used to to really mind from the little guy. "And it isn't that big a deal, as we don't have to raise them on the island. I think I've figured out how to delay most of the more extreme powers until puberty, and your species is more-or-less genetically compatible with humans, unlike ours."

(He sounds bored, annoyed, a little bitter... But he's offering something so big, and Wayne finds he can't get the slightest bit angry at the tone, not when considering the words)

"We can slowly adopt them out and let them naturally mix into the population." Minion clarifies. "No one will even know until they grow into their powers, and then..." He and Megamind share a mischievous grin, no doubt imagining the chaos as good and evil members of Wayne's... of his species start showing up.

His species. His species, just casually there and mixing with humans. His species, no longer functionally extinct. Which has never been all that big a deal to him, but suddenly seems like the most important fucking thing in the entire world, the entire universe.

"Alright." He smiles, slow and wide, looking to Roxanne for reassurance. She looks back, nodding and smiling to match. "Let's do this."