5 Times Zach Was Hugged (+ 1 Time He Hugged Someone Else)

Chapter 6: +1) Congratulations

Zach sat in Donita's jet, happily eating tiny sandwiches. Koki was in a cell in the cargo hold, and he was trying to keep the two women from attacking each other without taking sides. As it turned out, his Zachbots were really good at guarding people from harm without hampering other activities, such as sabotage or escape.

Zach hummed happily, proud of the balance he'd struck between still-a-thieving-lying-cheating-criminal-with-Villain-friends and genius-inventor-with-empathy-towards-animals-and-goody-two-shoes-friends. It wasn't easy, after all, but he was managing.

He popped another sandwich into his mouth while he waited for Donita to get out of the bathroom. He loved Dabio's sandwiches, and he hoped the brute escaped his ground-bound battle with the Bros so he could make more. Did that count as rooting for a side? Ah well, it wasn't like anyone was going to know.

Unless Aviva actually managed to build a mind reading device like she threatened to do, but that was an issue for future Zach. Current Zach was too busy deciding whether to risk Donita's wrath by eating all the sandwiches or save some for her to care.

Well, she had been very understanding about his sorta-anti-hero thing, so maybe he could save her a few sandwiches. He'd organized the sandwiches by type, size, and shape practically the moment after he sat down — now he just needed to figure out what combination to save for her.

He was in the middle of deciding whether two round cucumber sandwiches were worth a triangle of grilled cheese when he realized just how long the diva had been in the bathroom. It was long enough that he'd assume it was that time of the month with any other woman, but he'd know if that was the case with Donita.

(He'd had the misfortune of conducting emergency repairs on her jet during her period once. The poor woman was unable to get out of bed, much less pull off plots, it was so bad. The experience shook him enough to start providing chocolate at every Legion Of Villainous Villainhood meeting he hosted, for lack of anything else to do to help).

Curious (and a little worried), Zach got up to check on her. Even a top villainess like her could fall victim to something as ridiculously simple as a slip on wet tile, after all.

"Nita, ya done yet?" He scowled, knocking on the locked door. Receiving no response, he pressed his ear to the pink metal, hearing a soft noise that almost sounded like... Crying?! Donita Donata did not cry. "Donita, are you alright?"

Still no response. Cursing under his breath, Zack pushed a button on his watch to summon a Zachbot, then got out his lockpicks. "Listen, I'm coming in, do not hit me when I do."

The Zachbot arrived before he finished picking the lock, so he ordered it to rip the door off the hinges and hoped that Donita wasn't hurt. A part of him that wasn't panicking as badly as the rest hoped she was decent, fearing both hers and Dabio's reactions if he saw her when she wasn't.

She was indeed decent, sitting on the toilet lid, staring at a little stick he only recognized from TV. Mascara ran in tear trails down her face, but her expression gave zero clues whether it was happy crying or sad crying.

"Uh, does that mean what I think it does?" Zach blinked, walking slowly closer. Donita apparently could hear him, as she slowly nodded. "Well... Shit."

Donita choked out a strangled laugh, tilting her head up at him, looking more lost than he'd thought the confident diva could be. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it a second later, looking back to the pregnancy test.

Zach wasn't sure what to do, but he did know that a bathroom probably wasn't the best place for her to think. He tried to help her up, failed even though she wasn't resisting in the slightest, then waved his Zachbot over to do it for him.

The Zachbot sat her down on one of the couches that riddled her jet. Zach ordered it to get her some blankets and a warm drink, trying to remember what normal humans found comforting instead of dark metal and too much coffee, letting it zoom off to find what he wanted.

He stood awkwardly next to the couch, wondering what he was supposed to do. Was she overcome with joy? Having a panic attack? Was she wondering if Dabio would make a good father? Was it... Not Dabio's? He supposed it didn't matter, he was equally out of his depth in every scenario.

The crying continued until he honestly couldn't take it anymore. He cleared his throat loudly, already second-guessing himself. "Hey, Nita?" He waited for her to make a sound of acknowledgement. "If Dabio hits me for this, I'm sending you my medical bill."

"Hits you for wha–" Donita cut herself off as Zach sank onto the couch and hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. She froze and he almost pulled back, but then she leaned her head against his shoulder and let out a sob. "Oh, Zachary!"

"Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" He asked after a second, patting her head gently. She wasn't yelling at him, so he assumed he wasn't messing this up too badly.

"...I don't know." She admitted quietly. "Darling, I can't be a mother! I'm–"

"Too old?" Zach guessed snarkily, wincing at a scowl that was much too close to his face. "Sorry, it's hard to turn it off."

"I'm a villain." She corrected with a hiss. "What kind of life would this be for a child? Wild animals, constant fights, parents that were always busy with other things... I don't know the first thing about raising a kid."

"Well, if you need help, the Zachbots are surprisingly good at changing diapers — don't ask." He shuddered playfully, squeezing her a little tighter when she pressed into him. "And I bet Gaston knows a bunch of stuff about formula, so you could give him a call if you're too busy to nurse."

"You would really help out, Darling?" Donita asked, smiling.

"Well, duh." He rolled his eyes. "You got a name yet? 'Cause I think Gaston would be pretty honored if you went with Gus."

"Not Zachary?"

"That name belongs to me." He huffed. "And it's Zach!"

"Whatever you say, Darling." She chuckled. She paused when the Zachbot returned to drape a blanket over her and hand her a cup of tea. "Thank you, Silver dear."

"Please stop naming my Zachbots."

"Hmm... No." She smirked, sipping at her tea. After a moment, she asked "Zachary, do you think I'd make a good mother?"

"No clue." He shrugged. "I mean, probably not, you get angry really easily."

"Zachary!"

"But, hey, that doesn't mean you can't learn." He added quickly. "And Dabio will love the little brat, at least. It is Dabio's, right?"

"Dabio's going to be a father." Donita's face fell in horror that was only partially faked. "We can't handle this."

"You have to." Zach countered, making her fall silent. He hesitated, then slowly continued. "I'll help if you need, you know that, right? I can build toys for it, at least."

"Do not call my child an 'it'."

"Hey, you already got the mama bear thing going!"

"You've been hanging around the Rats too much, Zachary." She mock-scolded. "You didn't even try to call them 'big dog things'."

"Yes, well, apparently I can be taught." He grinned. The jet fell silent for a few minutes, but it was more peaceful than before. Zach felt Donita's arm move to squeeze his waist, so he squeezed back. "Hey, Nita?"

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations."

"...thanks."