72 sparksChapter 28: Shouldn't Have Shaved
This is my favorite chapter, even though it's the crackiest XD
Donita, answering her phone: Hello?
Guy: We have your child, if you want to see him alive you'll do exactly as we say.
Donita, clicking button to trace the call: Darling, ugh no, plural pronouns? So last season.
Guy: What?
Donita: It makes it much too obvious you aren't the leader. Be bold, take initiative!
Guy: How is that– your child has been kidnapped, lady!
Donita: Oooh, 'lady', I like that.
Guy: Not. The. Point!
Donita: Well, dear, I don't really see what the point is.
Guy: Your child. Kidnapped. Being threatened.
Donita, pushing button to send call location and SOS to the Rats: Speak in full sentences, dear. Poor grammar is terribly uncouth...
Dabio: [pouts]
Donita, covering phone and whispering: ...unless you're a hot, muscley henchman.
Dabio: [smiles]
Guy: Lady, do you even care about this kid?
Donita: While I do like children in general, I don't have any particular bond to the one you've captured.
Guy: What?!
Donita: I don't have a child, darling. You have the wrong woman.
Guy: ...you are Donita Donata, right?
Donita: Of course, the one and only.
Guy: Well, the only other name he listed was a 'Gourmand', and we can't find that guy's number so... Are you sure you don't have a kid?
Donita: Hmm... Give me a description.
Guy: Pale, whiny, keeps refusing food because he doesn't think our plates aren't clean enough...
Donita: Oh my God, you have Zach!
Gourmand: How the Hell did you get mistaken for a teenager?
Zach: I have a young face, it's why I have a goatee!
Donita: Wait, you actually took precautions against– has this happened before??
Zach: ...No!
Aviva, having not quite left yet from returning a rescued Zach: Yes.
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