Turtleship

Chapter 1: To Boldly Go

Aviva: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Koki & Jimmy Z: Okay.

Aviva: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Koki: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Jimmy Z: Bold of you to assume I can die, human.

Aviva & Koki: What?

Jimmy Z: Nothing, don't worry about it.

Chapter 2: Violence Is Always The Answer

Koki: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting 'what the fuck? that’s illegal!' and 'you can’t do that!'. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

Martin: Fine, talk.

Koki: We shoot Zach.

Chapter 3: Stressed Chris Is Best Chris

//The Crew's reaction to being told they're the chosen one

Martin: I will not let you down.

Aviva: K, sounds fun.

Koki: No, I'm fucking not.

Jimmy: Do I have to be?

Chris: Please, God, I am so tired...

Chapter 4: What Does 'Chad' Mean?

Martin: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness–

Aviva: Hi.

Martin: [melts down in a flustered heap of softness]

Chapter 5: Been There, Stopped That

Chris: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Martin: Bet you I can!

Aviva: [sips coffee, checks to make sure med bay is still operational, goes back to working on the Power Discs]

Chapter 6: Side Effects

Aviva: Be careful, Martin; last time you stayed in Goat Form this long, you tried to eat Chris's shirt.

---alt---

Martin: Be careful, Chris; last time you stayed in Tasmanian Devil Form this long, you didn't turn back...

Chapter 7: This Pretty Much Happened SO MANY TIMES

Chris: We’ll activate Moose Powers or die trying!

Aviva: What? No! No one’s dying.

Martin: Not with that attitude.

Chapter 8: It's Okay, I Have Coffee

Aviva, after working on a new invention for a week straight: I wanna sleep for 40 hours.

Koki: You know that's called a coma, right?

Aviva: ...

Aviva: That actually sounds so refreshing? Like, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

Chapter 9: Lovebirds

Aviva, lovingly: Your smile? It makes my day.

Martin, adoringly: Your laugh? I live for that.

Chris, dryly: A room? Get one.

Koki, 'helpfully': Hotel? Trivago.

Jimmy Z, obliviously: Snacks? Chips with salsa.

Chapter 10: Solemn Vow

Chris, to the Crew: I’d die for you.

Aviva: You will.

Jimmy Z: Please don’t.

Koki: Cool.

Martin: I’d die for you first.

Chapter 11: What Is Advil, Anyway?

Chris, with a headache: Advil me up, baby.

Koki: I will have Aviva short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Chapter 12: Harsh

Jimmy Z: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought!

Aviva: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts??

Chapter 13: Little Ball Of Knives And Fire

Jimmy Z: Koki and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Martin: What did you do?

Jimmy Z: She chased him to the next red light, reached into his window, and–

Koki, walking in: Who wants a steering wheel?

Chapter 14: Word Games!

Chris: I truly hate it here <3

Martin: Now replace 'it' with 'women'. Not so funny now, is it?

Aviva: Now replace 'it' with 'women'. Not so funny now, is women?

Jimmy Z: Now replace 'funny' with 'women'. Not so women now, is funny?

Koki: I’m having a fucking stroke.

Aviva: Now replace 'stroke' with 'baby'.

Martin: Congratulations!

Jimmy Z: Thanks.

Chris: What?

Chapter 15: Makes Just As Much Sense, Honestly

Martin to Aviva: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...

Jimmy Z: Cockroach ankles!

Martin: Ye– uh, what?

Chapter 16: King Of The Terrible Lizards

Chris: I need a long word.

Jimmy Z: T-rex but the long one.

Chapter 17: Can't Stop Us! Wait, No

Martin: We're doing it and you can't stop us!

Koki: I'm calling Aviva.

Chris: Wait, no, we were kidding!

Chapter 18: Problems? Solutions!

Koki: My life is a constant battle between 'I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds' and 'Hey, let's go throw rocks at assholes'.

Aviva: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Chapter 19: Wingman

Martin: I have a lie detector in my shirt.

Aviva: …What? Weirdo. Take it off, then.

Chris: Why do you want him to take off his shirt?

Aviva, flustered: WHAT– NO, I DON’T…

Martin: Beep… beep…

Aviva: ....

Aviva: You know what? Maybe I do, actually.

Martin, flustered: I, uh, um... W-what?

Chapter 20: Aviva Taking Online Classes Is Actually An Interesting Idea

Aviva: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Aviva: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Aviva: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

Chapter 21: Troublemakers

Koki: ♪He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice,♪

Jimmy Z: ♪Santa Claus is calling you out!♪

Chris: Okay, guys, we get it! Enough already!

Martin: No stunts in the Createrra until after Christmas, we promise.

Chapter 22: Random

Aviva: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying?

Jimmy Z: Exactly.

Jimmy Z, to Koki: Told you she'd understand.

Chapter 23: Excuses

Martin: It's pretty cold outside... wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Aviva, blushing: Okay.

Koki: It's fucking Summer.

Jimmy Z: Guess that means we can't–

Koki, grabbing his hand: Of course we can, we're just gonna be honest about it.

Chapter 24: Different Kinds Of Nerds

Jimmy Z: Martin has never seen Star Wars? Dude, the only people in this quadrant of the galaxy who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s just 'cause they lived them, Chris! That’s 'cause they lived the Star Wars!

Chris: Well, I mean... I haven't actually seen it either.

Jimmy Z: ...

Jimmy Z: Oh, we are fixing this right now. MOVIE NIGHT, EVERYONE!

Aviva: I'm bus–

Jimmy Z: Nope, now!

Aviva: But–

Jimmy Z: Now!

Koki: Jimmy–

Jimmy Z: The Bros haven't seen Star Wars, Koki!

Aviva: That's hardly–

Koki: Didn't you hear the man? This is an emergency!

Chapter 25: Overworked

Aviva: Ok so, apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

Chapter 26: And That's What Makes The World Go Round!

Martin: What goes up but never comes down?

Koki: The amount of stress you bring to my life.

Martin: No, the answer's 'your age'.

Aviva: Ha! Say that to my deaging ray.

Koki & Martin: What?

Aviva: ...nothing.

Chapter 27: Password

Computer: Please enter a password.

Martin: [types in Aviva]

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Martin: How fucking DARE YOU–

Chapter 28: Specialists

Chris, to a malfunctioning computer: ARE YOU–

Koki: Fucking.

Chris: KIDDING ME?!

Martin, to same computer: YOU'RE A–

Koki: Fucking.

Martin: PIECE OF GARBAGE!

Jimmy Z: …What was that?

Koki: Aviva banned the bros from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

Chapter 29: Just Take A Vacation, Sweetie, PLEASE

Aviva: I only have two emotions — exhaustion and stress — and I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

Chapter 30: What About Fifth Wheel (OMS The Steering Wheel)

Jimmy Z: Hey Martin, wanna third wheel on my date with Koki tomorrow?

Martin: Uh, sure?

Jimmy Z: Aviva! Wanna third wheel on my date with Koki tomorrow?

Aviva: Okay.

Jimmy Z: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Chapter 31: When The Mad Scientist Is On Your Side

Martin: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey; air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing.

Aviva: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing.

Chris: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements?!

Aviva: Of course I do! The reason it doesn't need to be a thing is because it's already a thing.

Chris: What? How?

Martin: Since when?

Aviva: Since last week. [shrugs] I had extra flamethrowers and nothing better to do.

Chapter 32: Rivalry

Aviva: Koki is visiting her mother, so I'm going to go invent a death ray and play target practice with Zach's ship.

Jimmy Z: What, why?

Aviva: She's, like, 82% of my impulse control.

Chapter 33: This Is Very Heavily Based On A Conversation Between Me, My Sister, And My Mom

Chris: When did fidget spinners go out of style?

Koki: About ten minutes after they came into style.

Jimmy Z: Fidget spinners are the best thing humans ever invented.

Martin: Yeah, they're better than the wheel!

Aviva: They are wheels...