Little Moments That Became A Fic

Chapter 14: Bugs

"Are you trying to get us killed?" Edward asked faux-casually, standing in the doorway of their hideout. "You do remember what happened to Joker after the incident with Deuces, don't you?"

Jervis — who was setting the table for tea but was close enough to hear, and very much tried not to remember Batman's near-murder spree — squeaked in fear. "What did you do?"

Jonathan, ignoring both of them and their questions, pushed Edward aside with his free arm and marched into the hideout. His other arm wasn't free because it was busy carrying a small, unconscious boy like a sack of potatoes.

"What did you do?" Jervis repeated. His face was pale and he sounded even more terror-stricken than he had a moment before.

Jonathan took a second to remind himself that he loved Jervis and slightly-more-than-tolerated Edward, and therefore should not take pleasure from their very real fear of Batman tearing them all to shreds. He sighed, setting the boy on a clear countertop in their makeshift kitchen.

"You kidnapped the Demonbat." Edward shook his head in an exasperated manner. He stood on his tiptoes and leaned forward slightly, trying to get a good look at the kid without actually getting too close. "What did you put him to sleep with? I thought drugs don't work on him?"

"Most don't," Jonathan confirmed, rifling through cabinets and drawers. He muttered a curse. "Edward, did'yah move mah brimstone again– oh, here it is."

"Jonathan, Luv," Jervis said, his voice shaking slightly. He waited for Jonathan to look over at him before he, slowly and clearly, repeated his earlier question, "What. Did. You. Do?"

"...it ain't mah fault," Jonathan almost whined, tearing off his mask as Corvin unbonded from him. The demon jumped onto the boy's chest and curled up, purring loudly like a cat. "Ah didn' wanna keep it, but it was sick an' all on its lonesome an' Corvin said we had tah fix it 'cause he likes it, an' if it's hurt he can't play with it anymore."

"Please stop talking as if you brought home an injured crow," Edward pleaded. "This is a child. This is an unconscious child. This is Batman's unconscious child. Who is an assassin. And part demon. This is Batman's demon assassin child who is currently unconscious in our kitchen, so I'll repeat myself — are you trying to get us KILLED?!"

"Ah'll fix him right up an' then ah'll release him back tah his flock," Jonathan promised, ignoring Edward's pleading.

"Do you suppose he would want to stay for a cuppa?" Jervis asked, eyeing Robin wearily. Every Rogue in Gotham with half a brain knew better than to underestimate the Demonbat. Any Gothamite with half a heart, however, agreed that Robin was adorable and too precious for the world and needed to be protected at all costs. "Some tea always makes me feel better when I'm sick."

"Dunno." Jonathan shrugged, mashing a slightly-sparking paste together. "Yah c'n ask him when he wakes up."

"You still haven't explained why he's unconscious in the first place," Edward said, giving up on convincing Jonathan that kidnapping a child because they were sick was a terrible, horrible, no-good idea.

"Oh, he passed out," Jonathan finally explained. "Tha little varmint jumped me in an alley, it felt like tha most confusin' an' adorable muggin' of all time. He was swayin' real bad, an' finally just keeled over after a couple times swipin' at me with that sword of his. Jokes aside, Edward, ah hope yah don' actually expect me tah jus' leave him there?"

"No, no I don't," Edward admitted. "Still though, you couldn't have taken him to the hospital or left him with the GCPD or some–" Edward's eyes went wide as something rather important occured to him. "Jon, how did you disable the trackers on the Demonbat?"

"Trackers?" Jonathan repeated, his own eyes going wide.

"You know, the ones Bats puts on all his children?" Edward said slowly, growing more and more concerned. "The ones that alert him to major changes in heart rate, blood pressure, or patrol route."

"Um..."

"Jon, my dear friend, the rock that keeps what little remains of my sanity secure," Edward breathed out gently, "please tell me you disabled those trackers before kidnapping Batman's sick child and bringing him to our hideout."

"Um..." Jonathan repeated, looking considerably more panicked than he had mere moments before.

"Oh dear," Jervis whispered.

Before any of them could say or do anything more, there was a loud CRASH as something rather large broke through a boarded-up window.

They all watched as the Batman stood from where he'd landed in a crouch, splinters of wood and shards of glass pouring off of him, his face the very picture of dark fury.

"HE DID IT!" Edward yelled, pointing at Jonathan.

"Seriously?!" Jonathan spluttered. Edward merely shrugged and mouthed survival of the smartest at him.

If Edward found his food occasionally laced with Fear Toxin for the next month and a half, well, the Rogues agreed he kinda deserved it.