Mind Games

Chapter 1: Burns And Priorities

Jokey: My burn from yesterday was actually smurfin' really bad, so I smurfed a bandaid on it.

Jokey: Does it make any sense ta smurf a bandaid on a wound that wasn’t even open? No, but I would rather smurf good than make sense.

Brainy: Okay, 1) That is literally the exact opposite of how the world smurfs.

Brainy: 2) GO VISIT DOCTOR, YOU MORON!

Chapter 2: Regular Tuesday

Jokey: Smurf what?

Brainy, wary: What?

Jokey: No, ya hafta smurf.

Brainy, annoyed: I don’t know.

Jokey: Clumsy's at Doctor's hut!

Brainy: Why would you make me smurf that?!

Brainy: What happened?!

Chapter 3: Fort

Jokey: Brainy smurfed me ta stop actin' like a Smurfling.

Jokey: So I smurfed him ta get outta my fort.

Chapter 4: It's April Fool's Day. Jokey Hasn't Pulled A Single Prank. Brainy Is STRESSED

Brainy, accusingly: I know what you're up to!

Jokey, 'innocently': Really? 'Cause I barely know.

Chapter 5: Thoughts On Jokey's Accent?

Jokey: Brainy likes ta smurf "ya can be parta th' problem or parta th' solution," but I happen ta smurf ya can be both.

Chapter 6: Poor Brainy

Jokey: Prepare ta smurf really bad 'bout yerself!

Brainy: Ha! I’ve been prepared for that my entire life.

Jokey: What?

Brainy: Or, uh, something mean about you...

Chapter 7: Exactly What Happened Right Before That One Episode

Jokey: Hey, Brains, what're ya doin' tomorrow?

Brainy: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

Jokey: Hefty's constant flirtin' with Smurfette is startin' ta annoy me, so I wanna trick him inta tryin' ta shrink his nose.

Brainy: ...

Jokey: ...

Brainy: Sounds fun, I'm in.

Jokey: Wait, really???

Brainy: Yep.

Jokey: Why?

Brainy, shrugging: I'm honestly very bored nowadays.

Chapter 8: Mean Brainy

Jokey: Smurf up, y’re smurfin' wit' my traina thought!

Brainy: I thought you didn’t smurf a brain and now you smurf you have thoughts???

Chapter 9: Jokey Is The Most Terrifying Smurf, Change My Mind

Brainy: We need a plan to smurf Gargamel.

Jokey: Okay, listen up. First, we fill his shoes wit' wet cat food.

Brainy: ...

Jokey: Judge me all ya want, I smurf results. Ya know tha' better'n most, actually.

Brainy: ...I can't actually argue with that. Continue.

Jokey: Next, we're gonna needa few tarantulas...

Chapter 10: He Speaks Like That For The Rest Of The Week

Jokey: FIGHT ME, YA NERD ASS SMURF!

Brainy, scoffing: At least try to smurf slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Jokey: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Brainy: ...I take it back, that's worse.

Jokey: [grins maliciously]

Chapter 11: Be Proud Of Your Weirdness! ...Unless Your Weirdness Is Destructive

Brainy: Why can't you ever just be normal for once?

Jokey: In case ya haven’t noticed; I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t 'fit in' an' I don’t WANNA fit in. Have ya ever seen me without this stupid box? No?

Jokey: That’s WEIRD.

Jokey: But it's my weird, an' I'm smurfin' wit' it!

Brainy: ...Okay, you're right, I shouldn't have smurfed it like that. I'll rephrase.

Brainy: Why can't you ever just smurf one day without being an absolute menace to society?

Jokey: Oh, that's easy; fun!

Chapter 12: Exactly How Their Sorta-Friendship Goes

Jokey: [causes chicken-based apocalypse]

Brainy: ...

Brainy: I don't know if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this nonsense.

—later—

Jokey: T'anks fer not smurfin' th' Redcaps what happened.

Brainy, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even smurf where to begin trying to explain this.

Chapter 13: Cameo By Nosey

Brainy: They don’t make Smurfs like me anymore. I’m the last of my kind.

Jokey: Thank smurf.

Brainy: Do you always have to be so mean?

Jokey: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Brainy, pointing to Nosey: When we were younger, you convinced her eggs weren't real.

Jokey: They're not.

Brainy: Haha, very funny.

Jokey: I'm serious. Didn'ya hear?

Nosey: No... what happened?

Brainy: ...why would you fall for that again?

Jokey: The Smurfs in this village make it way too easy.

Chapter 14: Brainy Was Wrongfully Imprisoned, Jokey Is Breaking Him Out Of Jail

Jokey: Sooo… Does this make us partners in crime?

Brainy: Don’t push it.

Jokey, bouncing in place: Oh my smurf, we can be like Harley Quinn an' Th' Joker!

Brainy: If you don’t stop talking, Security is smurfing 'assault' to the charges.

Chapter 15: Works Either Way, They Have -Zero- Respect For Each Other

Jokey: Amirite, Brainy?

Brainy: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Brainy: Am I right, Jokey?

Jokey: I’m almost certain y’re not, but t'be fair, I wasn’ listenin'.

Chapter 16: Not So Harmless Threat

Jokey: I know where ya live.

Brainy: Oh? Where?

Jokey: In a Mushroom.

[in the distance, Brainy's Mushroom explodes in a cloud of glitter]

Chapter 17: This Is Why They Rarely Work Together

Brainy, sitting on a rocket: I think this might be a bad idea...

Jokey, lighting the fuse of the rocket: Don' start thinkin' on me now!

Chapter 18: When They Were Younger

Jokey: I baked ya a pie!

Brainy: Really? What flavor?

[pie explodes]

Jokey: Raspberry a la C4

Chapter 19: After Brainy Attempts To Psychoanalyze Jokey's Driving Motives

Jokey: I wouldn’ put it in those words exactly.

Brainy: Why not? I think it's pretty spot on.

Jokey: Because I don' know what they mean.

Chapter 20: In An Argument

Brainy: I'm smurfing to ask you to be respectful.

Jokey: I will politely decline.

Chapter 21: IDK 🤷‍♀️ I'm Getting Tired

Brainy: Here is my wall of inspirational people.

Jokey: Is that a picture of ya?

Brainy: Yes, I am smurf enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Chapter 22: This One's Kinda Dumb

Brainy: Trouble at 2 o'clock!

Jokey: [looks down at his watch-free wrist]

Jokey: Now, how d'ya smurf that?

Chapter 23: Banter At A Lecture

Brainy: Now, if I may smurf for geniuses everywhere...

Jokey: Only as their rodeo clown.

Brainy, without missing a beat: Isn't that your job?

Jokey, internally: Damn, that was a good one.

Jokey, out loud: Aw, thanks fer callin' me a genius, Brain-man.

Brainy: ...

Brainy: Well, you may not be up to my caliber, but I suppose you do deserve some recognition once in a while.

Brainy's lecture continues uninterrupted as Jokey spends the entire time trying to figure out how to respond to that??

Chapter 24: Jokey In A Nutshell

Brainy: Jokey, this morning, I called you destructive and impulsive, and I’d like to withdraw that statement.

Jokey: Okay..?

Brainy: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Jokey: Aw, thanks!

Chapter 25: Let's Pretend They Have Phones/Internet For A Second

Jokey, texting Brainy: Roses are red, Roller Smurf is a skater…

Brainy′s phone, auto-replying: I’m busy right now — I’ll smurf back to you later.

Later

Brainy, texting back: Smurf you.

Chapter 26: Chillax

Jokey: Chillax.

Brainy: That's not a word.

Jokey: Those who deny chillax are those who need it th' most.

Chapter 27: Boxer Is My Go-To Bully Smurf

Jokey: Hey, Brainy.

Brainy: Oh smurf, not you again. What do you want?

Jokey: I...

Jokey: Are ya okay?

Brainy: What? Of course I am, why would you smurf that?

Jokey: Well, I was smurfin' yer diary–

Brainy: You smurfed my journal?!

Jokey: At first I didn' know it was yer diary; I smurfed it was a very sad handwritten book!

Jokey: Which smurfs us back ta my first point — are ya okay? D'ya need ta see Mental? Or just talk?

Brainy: I– you– how dare you! I am smurfectly fine!

Jokey: D'ya need me ta blow up Boxer's Mushroom?

Brainy: ...

Brainy: yes please.