21 sparksChapter 1: Horrible First Impressions
//Right after they first became cellmates
Jervis: You look tired.
Jonathan, deadpan: Yes, well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.
Jervis: ...are you okay?
Jonathan: No. Why? Wait, did I say the horror thing out loud?
Jervis: Yes?
Jonathan: Oh. Forget you heard that.
Jervis: I-
Jonathan: Or else.
Chapter 2: A World Of Difference
//before they were dating
Jonathan: You're my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Jervis: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Jonathan: Absolutely not.
//After they started dating
Jonathan: I don't need to go to bed, I need to work. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Jervis: But, Haigha, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up with me so I can feel whole again!
Jonathan, scowling to hide a blush: Are you trying to use seduction to trick me into a healthy sleep cycle?
Jervis: No! ...Is it working?
Jonathan: ...
Jonathan, climbing into bed: No.
Chapter 3: The Perils Of Befriending Jonathan Crane
This entire series has been the weirdest mixture of creative thinking, hard work, laziness, and copy-pasting. It has been a lot of fun. I'm as well NEVER doing it again.
Edit: Hello, two years later and I've done it SO MANY more times XD
Edward: Let's play Truth Or Dare.
Jonathan: You hate that game.
Jervis, quickly: Let's play anyways! Choose, truth or dare?
Jonathan, suspicious: Truth.
Edward: How many hours have you slept this week?
Jonathan: Dare.
Edward: You can't jus-
Jonathan, glaring: Dare.
Jervis: Go to sleep.
Jonathan: No.
Jonathan: -Drops canister of Fear Toxin and runs-
Edward: -whimpers- I don't like this game.
Chapter 4: Spoiler Alert!
Stephanie: Just wondering, Uncle Jon, did you get any sleep last night?
Jonathan, looking up from where he's trying to make Fear Toxin in the kitchen sink: Did I get any... leap?
Stephanie: What..?
Chapter 5: I Don't Do Alcohol (So This Ends Up Fitting Here)
Jonathan: I wasn't that sleep deprived.
Edward: You were flirting with Jervis.
Jonathan: So what? He's my boyfriend.
Edward: You asked him if he was single.
Jonathan: Okay, I'll admit that's-
Edward: And cried when he said he wasn't.
Jonathan: ...
Jonathan: Fine, I'll go to bed.
Chapter 6: Ivy Fixes Everything (Or Does She Just Make It Worse?)
Jonathan, curled up on the couch with a blanket: I'm so tired...
Harvey: What time did you wake up today?
Jervis, annoyed: He didn't.
Harvey: What?
Jonathan: It's nothing.
Edward, whispering in Twoface's ear: You can't wake up if you never fell asleep.
Jonathan: I have insomnia and nightmares. It's not my fault I have a terrible sleep schedule.
Ivy: I think I can help. Oh, Joker~
Joker, sticking his head into the room: Yeah?
Ivy: Spooky needs some help getting a decent sleep schedule.
Joker: -nods- Got it! -dashes out of room-
Jonathan, definitely 'not' panicked: Wait, what is he doing?
Ivy: He has trouble sleeping too. But there's a surefire method we've perfected.
Jonathan: Why would you help him..?
Edward, figuring it out: Oh no...
Harley, stomping into the room, clipboard in hand: -in her psychiatrist voice- Professor Crane! What's this I hear about you staying up all night?
Jonathan: It's hardly your concern, Child.
Harley: -plops down on chair by the couch, looking at clipboard- Do you know what lack of sleep can do to your mind?
Jonathan: Of course I know, I'm a psychology pro-
Harley: You're deflecting, Crane. Tonight you will go to bed at 20:00 sharp, or no Fear Toxin experiments tomorrow.
Jonathan: Excuse me-?
Harley: While we're here, let's talk about your eating habits...
Joker: I'd listen ta her if I were ya! -under his breath- Not dat she'll actually give ya a choice.
Harley: What was that, J?
Joker, panicked: Ya've got such a lovely therapy voice!
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Comments carried over from AO3 (2)
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'such a lovely therapy voice' LMAO
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