Stephanie's Second First Halloween

Chapter 2: Heads I Win (Tails You Lose)

"Trick or treat! Smell my feet! Give me somet'ing good ta eat! Or at yer house, I will yeet — three stinky rotten eeeeggs!" Joker sang, juggling said eggs along with a treasure-chest-shaped candy bucket, a maybe-fake sword, and an eyepatch he'd found too itchy to keep on for very long.

"Awk! Yeeet! Yeet!" Harley repeated cheerily, dancing around him in her feathered costume. "Who's a pretty Harley?"

"If I ever agree to go out with them on Holloween again," Ivy said through clenched teeth, struggling to walk along the street in her mermaid costume, "you have my permission to take me to Arkham."

Selina laughed, the bell on her collar tinkling along. "And miss all this? Never."

Joker gasped, expertly ceasing his juggling and putting away his toys before running towards a rickety old house, ignoring several others that almost certainly had more candy. He stood in front of it for several minutes, face scrunched up as he scrutinized the building.

"What's wrong with him now?" Ivy grumbled, staring at the house but not seeing anything that could've possibly caught the Clown's attention.

"Twoface is hidin' out here!" Joker announced, snapping his fingers with a grin. "We should say hello."

"What makes you think this is his hideout?" Selina asked, looking around. There wasn't anything that particularly screamed Twoface.

"Ya can't see it?" Joker asked, confused. He gestured at the house and yard a few times, looking between them and his three companions. Finally, he gave up and explained, as if it was absolutely obvious. "It's all mismatched! Perfectly down da middle."

They looked back at the house. Patchy roof, peeling paint, a few crappy decorations scattered randomly throughout the yard — it didn't really look asymmetrical so much as it looked sad.

"Ya know, I can kinda see it." Harley squinted her eyes, turning her head this way and that. "Yeah! Look, da paint's a bit of a different color on each side, an' dat bit of da roof's sorta repaired."

"Now that you mention it, I think there's two different themes with the decorations." Selina hummed. The decorations on one side were classic, black and orange, pumpkins and witches. The other side was bright, tacky, plastic and modern.

"You are feeding into his-" Ivy cut herself off. There was a tree to either side of the cracked front path. Two entirely different species that happened to look similar, but only one kept its leaves this late in the year. "Oh Gaia, don't tell me he's right."

"Dere's only one way ta find out." Joker grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. He bounded along the path and up the crumbling steps (which were definitely crumbling more on one side, if one looked closely), knocking on the door to the tune of Shave And A Haircut.

A few moments passed with no-one answering, though a slight shuffling could be heard from inside. Joker tapped his foot impatiently. He put an ear against the door.

"Yooo-hooo! Harv, ol' buddy ol' pal, ya in dere? Ya know bettah den ta ig-nore me~" He sing-songed, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet, fully prepared to dodge a fist should the wrong Harvey answer.

A few more seconds passed, then the door opened, nearly making Joker fall flat on his face. Harvey was dressed in a split red and white suit, bat wing and bird wing harnessed to his back.

"How did you find us?" He growled, gripping the collar of Joker's shirt and lifting him into the air.

"Well, wha'd'ya expect when yer hideout's so obvious?" Joker asked, undisturbed by the situation. He laughed. "Da funny t'ing is, I wasn' even lookin' fer ya!"

"He has a point, Harv." Ivy smirked. "It was rather easy to spot." Anyone who thought she was above lying just to mess with an ex had quite obviously never met her.

Harvey took a moment to calm down, pulling out his Coin and scowling at whatever the result was. "What. Do. You. All. Want?" He ground out through clenched teeth, looking between them.

"Gee, Twozy, we're only goin' trick-or-treatin'." Harley said innocently. She suddenly bounced up, flapping her arms like wings. "Hey! Why don't'cha join us? Da more da merrier."

"Speak for yourself." Ivy grumbled.

"No." Harvey threw Joker down the path, not even glancing when the Meta made a giggling-squeak sound as he bounced along the ground.

"Aww! Ya didn' even flip fer it." Harley pouted.

"We don't need to." Harvey had already half-shut his door, standing mostly in his house. "Neither side wants to."

"But dat isn' fair!" Harley argued, turning around. "Tell him, Cat– oh, drat."

Selina had, as she often did, gotten bored and left. Most likely she was flirting, stealing, or spying. She was like an outside cat — she would always come back, but you never really knew when.

"Oh well." Harley sighed, starting to walk off. "Guess it'll jus' be Mistah J', Red, an' me. All by ourselves. Noooo buffer."

Ivy's eyes went wide. She ran up to Harvey, grabbed his coin, and flipped it. Hiding the answer under her hand, she asked. "Heads or tails?"

"That's not how that works." Harvey protested, visibly uncomfortable with someone else using his coin.

"Heads. Or. Tails?" Ivy repeated slowly, glaring.

"...Tails."

"Oops, you lose. Guess you're coming with us!" Ivy said cheerfully, handing the Coin back before Harvey could double check the answer.

"You are a bitch." Harvey growled, reluctantly following the others down the street.

"I'm desperate." Ivy gestured to Joker and Harley, who were jumping around and hollering out a bad rewrite of an already stupid Holloween song.

"You're still a bitch." Harvey argued. Mentally, only half of him really blamed her. The other half was plotting revenge either way and didn't particularly care.

"True."