Stephanie's Second First Halloween

Chapter 7: Outside Looking In (Should've Paid More Attention)

Edward wasn't entirely sure he hadn't walked into a dream. One moment he was screaming at a man at least twice his size despite knowing exactly how badly that kind of situation typically ended for him, the next he was sitting in Twoface's house with his friends and newly-acquired daughter (he was never going to get used to that), eating popcorn and watching cheesy horror movies that artfully rode the line between 'Stephanie was allowed to watch' and 'Jon was willing to watch'.

Throughout his life, panic attacks normally ended in ridicule and maybe violence. Being calmed down and helped was a fairly new thing he was still half-convinced Jonathan had invented as a manipulation technique, yet now Twoface had done it? Of all people, Harvey Dent?

And then the man (men?) had invited them all to watch crappy horror, because apparently Edward had said something about Stephanie never getting to watch it with her dad. What had Jonathan done to that batch of Fear Toxin?! He hadn't been affected this badly by it in a while...

Of course, the stress he was already under might've contributed a smidge or two. To avoid thinking about any of this (not that he could really escape his own exceptional mind that easily), he excused himself to the kitchen. A bit of time alone should allow him to recenter himself somewhat.

Edward wasn't expecting to find Twoface already there, arguing with himself. No, actually... One part of Twoface was arguing with another part? They were having an argument?

"How does one refer to one who is two?" Edward asked before he could stop himself. "Or is it two that are one?"

"Excuse us?" Us. We. Our. He always used plural pronouns... They always used plurals because they were two people! Why hadn't Edward figured that out sooner? And why had he seen it now?

"It must be annoying, being talked to as if you're the same person all the time." Edward said smoothly, leaning on the doorframe, hoping neither of them would figure out he'd only just realized this.

They were quiet for a second, face twitching in a most unique way. "What do you want?"

"I want to apologize on Jonathan's behalf." Edward announced. It wasn't the want that had brought him here, but it was a want he had. After a moment's consideration, he added, "And, I wish to convey my utmost gratitude to you both for allowing us to continue impeding on your valuable time and space." And for not beating him to a pulp for freaking out at them, but his pride wasn't going to let him mention that bit.

"It's fine." H– they sighed, running a hand down their face. "It's not like we really had any plans for the night, after all."

"Weren't you trick-or-treating with the clowns and Dr Isley?" Edward asked. He frowned, considering. "Though, how in the world you two managed to get roped into going with that particular grouping, I can't begin to fathom."

"Neither can we, to be honest." Twoface chuckled.

"You really weren't planning anything, then?" Edward asked after a quiet moment. When their face started twitching again, he quickly added "Not to pry, of course, you don't have to tell me." Years of friendship with Jonathan had given him a tolerance for not knowing things other people wished to keep private, even when he wanted to know them. It was a courtesy he'd only extended to close friends so far, but he supposed it was the least he could do in this case.

"We were gonna sit on the couch and watch the news until we fell asleep." Twoface shrugged. "We weren't really up for more, still aren't really, but..."

But they were still letting everyone spend Halloween in their living-room. They were letting their house be overrun while they hid in the kitchen, because they just wanted to be alone (or as alone as either could ever get — did they find the lack of privacy from each other annoying, he wondered?). Maybe Edward should just leave them be, but he would rather not go back to the group quite yet. He was being a coward, he knew, hiding from his thoughts by hiding from the people connected to them.

He was aswell being selfish, ignoring Stephanie and imposing on Twoface. Now he wasn't just being a horrible father, but a horrible friend (coworker? Fellow inmate? Occasional partner in crime? What were they to each other, exactly?). He should just go back to the living-room.

Instead, he opened his big mouth and asked "Bad day?" As if it was any of his business. He really had to be testing Twoface's patience by now, he'd be lucky if the night didn't end in violence after all.

"Yeah." Twoface answered simply, not seeming annoyed in the slightest.

"Oh." Edward nodded, and an uneasy silence filled the small space. Despite working together a few times in the past, this was actually the longest conversation he'd ever had with them, not counting his panic attack rambling from barely an hour ago. Hell, this might be the longest time they've ever been in the same room outside Arkham. He shifted a little, having no idea what to say next.

Okay, that wasn't entirely true. He had plenty ideas of what to say next, mostly involving questions about how living with another person in your head worked, but nothing that felt appropriate to the moment. Should he even say anything, or just assume the conversation's over and leave? Before he can decide, Twoface piped up.

"You want a snack?" They asked, reaching around Edward to pull open the fridge door.

"What?" Edward backed away a step, turning to peek into the fridge. Twoface was offering him a snack. The same guy — guys — he was low-key terrified of whenever they bumped into each other in Arkham's cafeteria, the same guys that could break him in half with barely a second thought, the ruthless criminal ganglord that had almost as good a track record against Batman as he himself did–

"We need to go shopping soon, but we've got string cheese and apple slices."

–were offering him string cheese and apple slices. They apparently ate string cheese and apple slices. Though, was this honestly weirder than breaking up rhyming battles between Scarecrow and Mad Hatter? Or going trick-or-treating with a demon dressed as a kitten?

"Uh, thanks. Made from bovine blood and left to rot, yet people like it quite a lot." Oops.

"We figured you as more of an apple slices guy." Twoface smirked, handing over the string cheese. They didn't seem the least bit bothered by the riddle. If anything, they seemed amused.

Curiouser and curiouser. Edward thought, then immediately followed it up with a mental note he knew he wouldn't follow to stop hanging around Jervis. He ate his string cheese slowly, trying to pick off even strips, and let another silence hang over them. For about a minute, anyways, before it got to be too much and he spouted the first thing that came to mind.

Which was, of course, a question. "So, bad dreams?"

"What?"

"You said you had a bad day." Edward explained. "Usually when Jon has a bad day, it's because of nightmares, so I thought it might be the same for you."

"Spooky gets nightmares?" Shit.

"Please don't ever tell him I told you that." Edward half-joked, half-begged. "He's very much willing to use his delightful Toxin on his friends, and I've had more than enough exposure for one lifetime."

Twoface nodded in agreement, their face doing that weird twitchy thing again. Now that he thought about it, Edward remembered it happening on a few heists in the past, and in the Arkham Rec Room. What caused it, what did it mean?

"...it wasn't bad dreams." Twoface said after a bit of quiet, the twitchiness gone now. Interesting. "There's not really a reason, it's just one of those days. You know?"

He did, actually. "Again, I really am sorry to impose on you like this. If you two wish, myself and my roommates shall go home. I can't make any promises for the clowns and Isley, unfortunately."

"And risk the Bat coming after you?" Twoface shook hi– their head. "No, who'd watch the kid if that happened? By the way, we still think it's a horrible idea for you to adopt her, mainly because what will happen when you next go to Arkham."

"I'm making arrangements for that scenario." Which mostly meant he was cutting back on crime almost to the point of unofficial retirement until she was older, but he wasn't ready to share that with anyone yet. Not even Jon and Jervis knew.

(The longer he put off telling others, the longer he could pretend he wasn't doing it).

"For what it's worth–" Twoface cut themself off, pulling out their coin. They flipped it, smiling at the result. "For what it's worth, we think any of the Rogues adopting a kid is a bad idea, it's not a personal remark against you. You'd actually make a pretty good dad."

"You really think that?" Edward asked, letting an uncharacteristic amount of nervousness into his voice.

"Eh, don't let it go to your head, green bean." Twoface muttered, his tone coming out gruffer than it had been, sounding more like it did on heists. More like it had when he'd woken up. With the knowledge that they were two people, Edward began to wonder if the vocal shift was more than the mood signal he'd always thought of it as.

"I should've asked this a long time ago," should've figured it out a long time ago, "but is there any way you prefer to be addressed?"

"What the fuck are you on about now?" Twoface growled. Their face did that twitching thing again, with a deep scowl crossing their face. They sighed. "I mean, could you pretty please fucking clarify what the fuck you're talking about, green bean?"

Edward got the feeling that this is what it looked like when one personality was mocking the other, which was completely fascinating. But he had to stay focused, so he mentally shook himself and said "Do you both go by 'Harvey Dent', or do you each refer to yourselves differently? Does 'Twoface' represent one personality while 'Harvey' represents the other?"

Twoface blinked, staring at him as if they'd never been asked that before. Come to think of it, they probably hadn't.