Imp Tales

Chapter 1: Do Ya Ever Wish I Was Someimp Else?

"Do ya... Do ya ever wish ya had a normal Imp, insteada me?" Mr. Mxyzptlk had asked during a quiet moment in the middle of one of their rare truces.

"I wasn't aware there was such a thing," Clark had responded. At Mxyzptlk's look, he clarified, "A normal Imp, I mean. Aren't you guys all a little... Well..." He made a vague gesture near his head, not quite sure how to say utterly loony without sounding rude.

Mxyzptlk chuckled under his breath. The fact that he didn't snap something rude back was a tribute to how stressful the past few days must've been for him too, not just for Clark.

"Ya got a point there, Supes." The Imp shrugged, sighing. "I meant, ya know, a fan. Someimp obsessed wit' ya."

"Last I checked, you were yelling at Bat-Mite about how much better than Batman I am," Clark reminded him, laughing good-naturedly. Despite, well, everything, he was kind of fond of the pint-sized orange-and-purple menace that was his Imp.

"That's 'cause ya are better'n him! I mean, ya got laser eyes an' freeze breath an'–" Mxyzptlk cut himself off, shaking his head harshly. "Dammit," he growled. "I refuse to be like them, I refuse to be."

"Refuse to be like who?" Clark asked warily, growing worried.

"All those Impeople basing everything they are off some mortal or other," Mxyzptlk answered. He looked at Clark with something broken in his eyes. "I was like that once, ya know. 'Course I was, I'm an Imp, I'm supposed to be like that." He huffed out a humorless laugh. "I pretty much lived in these, these pajamas, see. Superman pajamas. They had a hood with a really long point, so's it looked like a cape when it was down. An' some bells 'round th' collar an' stuff, but that was jus' for my job."

"You have a job?" Clark asked, deciding to ignore the 'I have pajamas based on you and used to wear them all the time' thing. That was... He wasn't even sure what that was, actually.

"Y-yeah. I'm, uh, somethin' like a fool?" Mxyzptlk explained. He rubbed at his neck, looking unusually awkward. "I work in King Brpxz's court."

"Well that's interesting." Clark shook his head gently. "I'm sorry, I guess I don't normally think about you having an actual life. Much less one working for a king."

"I don't just work for him," Mxyzptlk told him, grinning. He sounded proud as he added, "I'm married to his daughter."

"You've got a wife?" Clark laughed. Mxyzptlk nodded excitedly. "Wow, and a princess too. Good for you."

"You really mean that?"

"Yeah — nothing's better than love, right?" At least, that's what Ma and Pa had always taught Clark. Which brought up an interesting thought. "Say, you've got any kids?"

"A... few." Mxyzptlk shrugged. He groaned. "One of 'em's noticed Superboy don't have an Imp yet, so I've been dealin' wit' that mess lately. I swear, if he starts mimicking laser vision..."

"Well, kids, right?" Clark offered sympathetically. "We can't always control who they look up to, only give them the tools to hopefully choose right for themselves."

"Oh gods, I forget what a boy scout ya are sometimes," Mxyzptlk snarked, rolling his eyes. "Some days I wonder why I like ya at all."

"Some days I wonder if you do like me at all," Clark replied, only half-joking, thinking of all the evil plots and insults and such over the years.

Mxyzptlk's pointed ears drooped down, eyes going wide and watery. "That's not... Ya don't really.... Supes, I'm your Imp! Course I likes ya. I know I don't go 'round dressed up like ya no more, an' maybe I'm not always th' nicest t' ya, but I'm still yours. I can't not like ya!"

"Is that true?" Clark frowned. "I thought Imps chose who they... take after. I didn't realize it was some sort of compulsion."

"Bat-Mite an' I are different. We're tied to ya an' Bats, every version of ya, an' we don't really get a choice in it." Mxyzptlk didn't look the slightest bit upset by this. "It's jus' a fact of life though, ya know? I'm yours, I've never been mad about that."

"Then why don't you act like the others?" Clark asked. "If you don't hate me, then why don't you dress up like others of your kind do?"

"Would ya prefer I did?" Mxyzptlk asked carefully, going very very still. They both knew that Clark saying 'yes' would change nothing. Mxyzptlk did what he wanted and always would. But that didn't make the moment any less tense, or the answer any less important.

"No," Clark answered immediately. "I'd like it if you'd stop being my villain, sure, but besides that I don't care. It's not my place to choose who you are, and certainly not my place to make you act like me. Not like you would anyways."

"That's not what I asked, Superdolt," Mxyzptlk hissed. "Ignore what your place is an' ignore th' fact that ya can't control me, an' answer my damn question — would ya prefer it if ya had a more normal Imp? One that dressed up all proper an' called himself, ugh, Super-Mite an' all that nonsense?"

Clark thought about it for a second. He looked Mxyzptlk in the eye and slowly shook his head once. "Between Super-Mite and Mr. Mxyzptlk... I'd choose Mr. Mxyzptlk every time. Though, seriously, I'd really love if you'd stop being a villain."

"I can't stop, ya needs someone to test ya an' remind ya to stay sharp an' stuff. Superbrainless," Mxyzptlk muttered, but he was ducking his head away to try to hide his smile as he did.

Quiet passed for a moment.

"I miss it, sometimes," Mxyzptlk said quietly, sounding strangely vulnerable, not looking at Clark. "I'm not like you mortals, it's not fanaticism like those stupid humans tha' sometimes pester ya. It's jus'... instinct. An' part of me wants to give in an' be like all the others. But if I'm Super-Mite, then what happens to Mr. Mxyzptlk? He's gone, an' I... I like him too much for that."

"Well, if it makes you feel better," Clark told him, "I like him too."

A second later, Clark had a very small but surprisingly strong orange-and-purple figure wrapped around his side. "Stop it, Supes, or I'm gonna start cryin'."

"Getting soft on me, Mxy?" Clark asked, patting the Imp's back fondly.

"Heh, ya wish, ya ol' lug," Mxyzptlk answered, pulling back to wipe his suspiciously wet eyes.

An alarm began to blare.

"Well, time to get back to it, I guess." Clark sighed, stretching.

"They'll never know what hit 'em," Mxyzptlk said, grinning. He rubbed his hands together, power sparking between him. The moment of vulnerability was over, and he was once again the dangerous man from the Fifth Dimension that Clark knew him as.

The Kryptonian suppressed a shudder. He was definitely fond of the little guy, but if this was what it was like to be his hero...

...he'd hate to know what it was like to truly be his enemy.