A Year With You

Chapter 2: April -- Fool's Day!

Kookaburra, the Blue Robin, leaned away from a half-finished building far above most the city. He scanned his eyes over the cityscape, looking for any trouble. He tapped his earpiece.

"Cardinal, Quetzal, either of you see anything?" He asked. "I've got nothing over here."

Big fat zero. Cardinal complained over the comms. What, are all the criminals sleeping?

It's very quiet tonight. Quetzal agreed. But you can see the stars! They're very pretty...

"Alright, I think it's time to head back." Kookaburra decided. "Meet up at the pick up zone, I'll call Batman to-"

An explosion rocked the night.

Did you guys see that?! Cardinal screeched.

Since when are explosions green? Quetzal asked.

The explosion, and it's resulting smoke, had indeed been various shades of green. Kookaburra watched as the smoke curled impossibly to form a question mark above the city.

Kookaburra grinned, despite himself. "Looks like Riddler's up to his old tricks. What do you think, do we call for backup or-"

Oh, come on! Cardinal laughed, excitement clear in his voice. We can handle Riddler without Batsy. Worse case, we spend a few days trapped in Crane's basement listening to him prattle on about formulas.

"Alright, head towards the explosion, but don't attack until we're all there." Kookaburra opened his glider, jumping off the construction site. "Remember to turn your trackers on. Alfred will freak if we get caught, we don't need to make it harder for him to find us."

Isn't tomorrow Riddler's birthday? Quetzal asked. Why would he work on his birthday?

Maybe he's trying to steal himself something shiny. Cardinal mused. Or he might be trying to remind everyone that it's his birthday, make sure they come.

"I can't believe I'm going to have to give him his present in Arkham." Kookaburra muttered. "Maybe he'll escape in time for me to have HQ pass it along."

You got him something? Cardinal asked, incredulous.

Oh! What is it? Quetzal sounded excited.

"It's just a solar-powered digital puzzle game." Kookaburra answered. "It uses a primitive AI to make more complex puzzles as you go on."

He'll love that! Quetzal giggled.

Did you forget that he's the villain?! Cardinal hissed.

"He's also my best friend's honorary uncle." Kookaburra reminded him. "Not to mention my hacking tutor. Besides, he got us something for our birthday."

That resulted in five city blocks being cordoned off! Cardinal replied.

Yeah, but you have to admit it was fun. Quetzal hummed, adding And tasty... Mmm.

Kookaburra dropped down in front of a surprisingly-intact building, double checking- yes, this was definitely the source of the smoke.

"This has got to be the nicest-looking exploded building I've ever seen." Cardinal snarked, dropping beside him.

"Maybe we have the wrong place?" Quetzal was the last to arrive. "Though the smoke is coming from here, so... Did they rebuild it?"

"I doubt it, they didn't really have that much time." Kookaburra raised an inquisitive eyebrow, watching the smoke continue to rise. "It looks like he just faked an explosion?"

"Whatever, we'll figure out once we're inside." Cardinal swung his longsword around a few times, heading towards the building. "Forward march!"

"Please don't shout, I don't want to lose that quickly." Kookaburra muttered, following the Red Robin inside, a Green Robin trailing after them both.

The entire place was covered in green question marks, spray painted onto every able surface (even the ceiling!). Model mazes and giant puzzle boxes were haphazardly 'organized' along the floor. It was definitely Riddler's style, but...

"Does something about this feel wrong to you guys?" Kookaburra asked. "It's almost Riddler's style, but just a little off?"

"Off?!" A voice asked from the shadows, mock offense battling with amusement in its tone. The doors and windows slammed shut, bright spotlights switching on to reveal a familiar clown. "I'll have you know I spent hours looking at old crime scene photos to make this replica!"

"An' by that, Mistah J means I did it." Harley Quinn popped a bubble of gum, grinning and cartwheeling over to the confused trio. "But I don' mind! This ain't gotta be perfect, afta all. Just needed ta lure ya in, an' it did that well enough."

"What's going on?" Cardinal demanded, pointing his sword at Harley. "Where's the Riddler?"

"Oh, him?" Joker laughed, waltzing over and pushing the sword away with a brief glare. Then he grinned as widely as ever, pretending to think. "Hmmm... If I remember correctly, he's all the way on the other side of town, robbing that new ultra corn maze with dear ol' Spooky!"

"Uncle Jon wanted ta take Uncle Ed somewheres nice for his birthday!" Harley explained. "So we offered to make sure no lil' birdies messed things up."

"But don't worry, kiddies!" Joker chuckled. "We've got plenty of fun for you here tonight. Or you can just give up and watch cartoons while we wait for Batsy to come save you. Your choice, since Harl's fond of ya and all."

The brothers looked at each other. Kookaburra sighed. "What kind of cartoons?"

Hours later, Batman finally managed to break in, finding his sons sitting around an old television eating cereal with Harley Quinn and The Joker. This wasn't surprising, the decor on the other hand...

"Stealing Nygma's gimmick, Joker?" Batman asked.

"Just pulling a little April Fool's joke on your little flock here, while also giving a birthday present to a dear friend." Joker said in mock sincerity. He pointed to the TV set. "Can we finish the episode before you haul me to Arkham?"

"Auntie Ivy doesn't have a TV." Harley added, making her eyes big. The boys joined her.

"...Fine." Batman grumbled, sitting crossed-legged in front of the screen, accepting a bowl of cereal from Joker. He scanned it for poison, then started eating. "But after this, it's house arrest for at least a month."

"Okay, okay." Harley rolled her eyes, but quickly glued them back to the screen.

She wouldn't want to miss it if Wile E finally caught his bird, after all.