162 sparksChapter 1: And So It Begins!
Bruce: Where are your parents?
Peter: What are parents?
Bruce: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard.
Alfred, at Peter: Would you like to stay for dinner sir?
Bruce, setting up the spare room: Would you like to stay forever!?!
Dick and Jason: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other*
Peter:
Alfred: Sirs, we have a guest.
Tim: Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.
Peter: What? “To my knowledge”? Do a lot of people not in this world know if they’re robots?
Tim: Thank you for your confirmation.
Bruce: We're having a baby.
Peter: Oh, congratu-
Alfred, handing Peter adoption papers: It's you. Please sign here sir.
Damian: You have kidnapped Parker?! That is against the law, Father!
Bruce: But Damian, what’s more illegal? Taking in a lost child, or letting him walk aimlessly around with no one to help him?
Damian: Kidnapping Parker!
Bruce: Damian, listen. However you feel about this, he is counting on us to inspire him!
Damian: What, to kidnap people?
Bruce: To work together!
Damian: To kidnap people?!
Tim: Dami, we’ve all agreed that Peter is not a people.
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(Previous comment deleted.)
Thank you 😊 glad you're enjoying!
(Previous comment deleted.)
No, I don't talk to people online, sorry.
(Previous comment deleted.)
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
Sorry, I don't speak with people online...
(Previous comment deleted.)
You could tell me your ideas on here if you want tho?
(Previous comment deleted.)
Ok, no problem. Sorry :/
Oh, this is BRILLIANT 😂😂😂
What? No. WHY 😭
XD
Spidey Boi ❤️
Or angry that they stole his gimmick...
I love this 😍
True...
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying!
I like that you removed the drug reference, even if the joke makes no sense now. I'mma assume it's Batcodes or something.
Oh, for sure Batcodes
Neal 💕
One of my favorites 🤩
Most in-character thing yet 😂
For real
Tim never stops being a stalker, he just gets to live with the object of his obsession 😂😂😂
This is my favorite comment EVER 😂😂😂 YOU'RE NOT WRONG!
You’re so right!
Yes! 🙂↕️
Very Tim, much funny.
Petey is still nerd 🤓
Yep 🙃
Oh look, a summary of their entire brotherhood XD
Wait no why is Petey so chill about being separated from Aunt May??? 😢
Uhhh...?
Maybe he is trying to get back, or...?
IDK, maybe he can still call her somehow?
.......would it be weird to ship Aunt May and Alfred???
Claremore????
Lol 😂 😂 😂
Fixed it, thanks!
OMS 😂🤣😅😅😅🤣
BEST ONE YET
Thank you 😊
This is one of the best combinations of Incorrect Quotes ever, it's brilliant, I love it 😍
Good job.
Thank you! I do try 😏
And you succeed! ;)
Awww 🥰
XD
[Bruce: *Laughs*]
— This was already funny, but that seals it. Brucie Wayne at his FINEST
Why is this so fitting, tho??? Like, they could've done it first and we'd use it as an Incorrect Quote for Thor and Loki. I love this.
Thank you!
You're not wrong... I could actually see it originating from them. 😊
But what does this even mean???
What do you mean?
🙏*deep breath in* ...HULK 👉
I feel like he could still take him...
I mean, he was raised by the 🦇...
No, I meant that this quote is basically how Hulk works 🤣
Ohhh, yeah, that's Fair 😂
OH MY STARS YESSSSS 🤣🤣🤣
one hop this time
right foot let's stomp
stomps on enemy's foot
Lol, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
I feel so called out right now 😂😂😂
Lol, don't we all? 😂
Gerbil 🐹🐹🐹
🤩 I didn't even think of that, lol
🐹🐹 🐹
I love that Jason is this big, rough, violent bruiser... who's as well a literary nerd. I love it. MOTHER DUCKING DEPTH, BITCHES
OMG, YES!!!
🪩 🦉 🌃 🌳
This is... exactly their personalities, actually. I love it.
Tim is a petty prankster gremlin and I love him 💛
Yes. Yes, he is.
Works with Bruce and Alfred as well, tbh
Huh, it does, doesn't it?
...
Is Alfred Dick from the future??? THINK about it for a sec...
....no. Just no. 😂
HE COULD BE!!!
1) Wtf is a rice cabinet???
2) YESS XD
A cabinet that you put rice in 🙃
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer XD
This just kept getting better and better XD
This entire fic is so amazingly in-character, is the crazy part. It's hilarious and I love it 😂 😍 🩷
ALL THE EXTRA KUDOS: 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Aww, thank you!!! 😊
Yeah, Jason's got the best apartment and cooks gourmet meals all the time. He sits around with classical music playing while he reads Emily Dickinson.
But no-one ever believes him. XD
EXACTLY! He's one part street rat, one part Egyptian cat!
Yes, ninety percent of his friends (and his girlfriend) are criminals, he owns a million guns, and he would rather fight someone then talk it out.
BUT, afterwards he's gonna go back to his house, cook a nice meal, pet Dog, and read some Emily Dickinson in the light of a lavender candle.
He might have grown up on the street, but he also grew up with Alfred and Bruce.
HE CAN BE BOTH.
HE CAN BE BOTH 🙂↕️
HAS DAMIAN EVER WATCHED TEENAGED MUTANT NINJA TURTLES???
He definitely should! Didn't the two shows have a crossover once? Would they even have the TMNT show in Gotham???
Direct parallel to the earlier one, I love it 🤣🤣🤣
Aw, even Dami's getting in on it 😍
You capture character voices fairly well. I like how you remember little details like Damian's 'tsk's and such. Good job.
Thank you 😊
But they aren't adults...
This is hilarious and the codenames are so perfect and I love it 😂😂😂
As well, I just really like the idea that the Iceberg Lounge is neutral ground for the Bats and Rogues and such. ❤️
Dick and Jason are by this point, I think?
Thank you! I had other nicknames for them, but then I remembered that Dick nicknamed them all, and had to think about what he would choose!
The Iceberg Lounge is DEFINITELY neutral ground, no matter what cannon says!
[butterfly guy meme] Is this romance?
Wait, does that mean he's still a reporter in this verse?? 😍
Do he and Tim bond over cameras???? 😍 😍 😍
Of course he is!
...YES!!! 😍😍😍
Jason always thinks he's so edgy 🤣 But then he's always just so not 🤣🤣
Alternatively: EVERY ROBIN EVER XD
Pretty much, yeah.
I love how this and the last one are kinda a set XD
YESSSSS XD 🎷
How did he not know, though???? XD
He did know they were dating, just not that they were living together.
And he DEFINITELY wasn't expecting to barge in on them in bed together lol.
It's always stormy in Gotham 😜
⛈️🌧️☁️
Yes; 🙂↕️
Ming ming ming, ming, ming ming ming
Lol, fixed it, thanks!
I love this, pure gold 🤩
Best one yet 🪘
FIIIIRE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
👌
My favorite zapping expression 😺
As well: FIIIIIIRE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
...but those are their love interests...
As well this is hilarious 😂
Eh, this is before their dating.
*they're 😊
*They're 😊
I'm so used to versions of Tim that strangely don't read and I like this soooo much better 🤩
Thank you!
Why wouldn't TIM read??? He is the nerdy one who runs WE, he DEFINITELY reads!
Ikr?! XD
I read Duela as Dick for a second and OH MY GOD I was freaking out XD
I was literally thinking about this one! So perfect 😍
IT WAS SECRETLY A SAGA 😍
Jason, sweetie, NO
Hmmm.... Jason, sweetie, YES!
Dick: 🤦♀️
The chapter title XD XD XD
XD
You know what's funny? Between The Lizard, Green Goblin, and Venom, Peter's actually pretty used to guys like Twoface...
True, he probably would be...
Spidey's kinda made for Gotham lol
There's no comma between nudity and death, so I'mma hafta assume that's a combined scenerio.
Ah, I forgot about the Oxford Comma! Mistake rectified, thanks 😊
Um...
That escalated quickly XD
Two types of people ↑
XD
WTF even HAPPENED, tho?????
Also: Spidey, my beloved 😍
They used a canon to rob a bank! 🙃
It prop had something to do with catching someone, or making a distraction, or a bet or something...
IDK, a story for another time!
Hell of a story 🤣🤣🤣
He's adapted quickly, I gotta say.
Yep! If spiders are good at one thing, it's adapting!
...And making websites.
Websites XD
Again: WHAT HAPPENED???! XD
They are best friends and I love it.
Second Halloween XD
TWELVE TUBS OF SPIDERS 🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️
THE FRIES DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS 😊😊😊😊😊
I love this, this is adorable.
Thank you!
Yes, they definitely do!
I feel like Snow would actually usually be pretty upbeat, despite the circumstance. Kinda like what Dick is to Bruce, except she wouldn't be a villain/hero.
Michigan XD
Yesssss XD
THE BEST BATSUIT
Definitely the craziest!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 ♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️
The best one XD
Batmoooooon 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
This is hilarious and so in-character and I love it.
Unfortunately unrealistic, though, for precisely one reason: Alfred. As long as he exists, your argument is invalid.
Alfred has banned them from ever using the kettle, ever since the dreaded exploding tea incident. Every 6th of march since no one dares step foot in the kitchen, nor make eye contact with Alfred Pennyworth or Alfred The Cat.
Oh my stars 🤣🤣🤣
This dynamic is so fun and I love it.
Thank you! Jason is the (worst) BEST mentor! Lol
Spidey and the Rogues 🤩
I want Spidey to out-joke Joker 😭
Oh, I would SO read a fic about that!
That escalated quickly XD
So perfect 🤣
Awww 🥰
Yes it can XD
You know, I'm almost convinced he's doing it on purpose at this point... XD
Lol, he's just so far into denial at this point 😂
XD
This is such a great ship, I love it.
Thanks! I feel like they would work well together!
I also feel like when he came back from the pits, before he was willing to talk to the bats, he prob bunked with some of the rogues for a while? And at one point he was staying with Two-Face, and Duela and him bonded?
Oh I love that 😍
Batie Wackies 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Yep! Damian is sassy boi!
Oh my stars XD
DREAMING ABOUT THE THINGS THAT WE COULD BEEEEE
~BABY, I'VE BEEN LOVING PLAYING HARD~
You do not know the lyrics to this song, but that's okay 😂
I do know the lyrics! I just know the BETTER VERSION of them! 😂
😂
So Jason and Duela are just on-again off-again, huh? Fits them, actually.
Yeah, kinda? Or maybe they just broke up once?
This IS a bit outta order...
Dick actually would look pretty good in a wedding dress, is the crazy part.
He DEFINITELY would!
Oh, that loveable idiot XD
Knowing Peter that credit card is empty
Oh, absolutely. JJ Jameson pays on the amount of times he won’t yell at Peter that day
I mean he already died once
Exactly. What’s another?
No not the idea the soultion
Did I sit her for 1 minute to figure it out yes. Was it fun yeah
Lol, I'm glad you enjoyed!
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Ouch the will always be a corner for you to cry on
Mission successfully failed
Lol, YEP
I think it might have flow a little better if it ended with
I will destroy the fucking universe
Then earth but love the song
I like earth better.
Thank you for the advice, tho! Very much appreciated!
Thank you for reading and commenting! I hope you enjoyed!
Weblings is the perfect name for baby spiders 😍😍😍
There's a rather large amount of fire in this fic... XD
🚒 🚒 🚒
But like, he would soooo do that, lol XD
Three types of relationships XD
[Dick, smirking at Bruce, who he knew had a B: I will add onto your 'AT'... to make 'RAT'.]
— This is exactly Dick's personality, actually 🤣
Now You See Me was amazing.
Also, if aliens abduct Tim, I feel bad for the aliens XD
I love the muppets quote!! This is gonna be so fun 🤩
Peter: What language are you two speaking??
Me: has it turned into a forgotten tongue?!
Peter doesn’t pray to our lord and savior Red Hood? Rookie mistake 😞
Literally any big family experience ever 😑
Jason (probably) to anyone dressed up as a zombie on Halloween: My culture is not your costume
I just know Alfred is dragging out the conversation to see how long it will take for Peter to reveal himself
Duh, Alfred. Get with the program
Oooo *take picture* I love supporting local sanctuaries
The real question, Jason, is why isn’t your hand stuck in a vending machine? Huh? How about that
Peter, your nerd is showing
I love that Dick is an acrobat that is also careles/lacks caution in his every day activity 😂
He was ready
It was a a valiant effort, Damien. You’ll get ‘em next time tiger
Well, was Tim wrong??
The Jason and Tim beef brings me joy each and every time
They’re just following the Bruce Wayne ditz agenda
If he really wanted it, he would’ve gotten onto Netflix first
And why would he want to be normal??
Girl isn’t cut any slack. Not even by birth certificates
Not Jason with using the literal meanings 😂
That checks out
I just know the minute after that wasn’t any better
At that point, nothing else left to do but own it. You strut that runway, mama!
The real question is, how long did it take for him to memorize it?
I jus know Damien was asking for the sole purpose of giving Peter a heart attack
Jason’s natural state: constantly sleep deprived
How dare he question the sanctity of Pokémon card readings
The chapter title is absolutely correct. I would be petrified with fear
The French aren’t real, and France most certainly is not either. I concur
Why not is the real question
Peter when someone asks him why he can’t remember his own name: oh, I remember now: I’m trying to save the world from annihilation!
Jason’s a hater of joy. Checks out
They just wanted bonding time!
Wonder why that might be??
The rivalry continues ✨with puns✨
Yeah, that might take a while. Better grab the lawn chairs!
Does Alfred know British people aren’t real?
Doesn’t everyone in Gotham?
Real, Jason 😔
Close enough
Indeed they do. Clock it
Ah, yes. I too loved that lullaby as a kid 😍
Well, in their defense, it kinda does 🤷♂️
Everyone’s an enemy
Yeah, Tim. You can hold it 🙄
I think that theory should be tested. Who wants to go first?
Wake up papi, it’s time to live
He wasn’t wrong!
Someone madea tiktok from your book that could be taken as not good I think?
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZN8FBMyNr/
If you dont want to copy link check 1missmab0n profile there. I think you should know about this
I see that marauders reference. And oh my days i genuinely cant with how theres 197 chapters and 9k words. 🫣
Who’s here from Tiktok
ME LMAO
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