79 sparksChapter 2: It Hurts When I Laugh (I Laugh So Hard I Cry)
This chapter is Joker's POV (3rd Person), but most of the fic is from Harley's POV (3rd Person).
TW for swearing?
"What if one of your victims had children? What do you think would happen to them?" The psychiatrist asks. He's stopped paying attention to the finer details like gender, age, race -- it doesn't matter, they never last more than a few weeks any more.
"Hmmm..." He pretends to think, leaning back in his chair. They'd be 'dead' too, "Little Timmy would finally get the big room all to himself?"
Monster. Sick, depraved, monster. This one's too professional, or maybe too scared, to say those things. Yet he calls himself that and worse, every time he adds a joke to the sick stand-up act that's become his life. But as long as that act's on the lineup, no criminal in Gotham dares mess with him or his territory (or the people in it). So he just laughs every time they hurry out in horror, wishing he could run too.
Ah, damnit, when'd the shrink leave? And the clock's moved too much. The meds they give him in Arkham never work, his blood's not human anymore, they just make him lose time. Enough time that now he's being escorted to his cell by four guards.
If he really wanted to escape, they wouldn't be near enough. Hell, ten guards probably wouldn't be able to handle him long. But Batman could stop him all by his lonesome, the Darling crusader was incredible that way.
Joker grinned as he was led down the middle of two rows of cells, whistling and laughing. It was a good evening. His session was over, he'd thought of the best joke to tell Penguin next time they started up a gang war (they were due for one soon), the new therapist was letting him have crayons and paper! It didn't get much better than that.
After he was locked into his cell, his brain started buzzing. There was something he needed to do, something about the guards... Joker snaps his fingers when he finally remembers -- the guards have been acting strange, whispering about something, increasing security.
"Heeeey, Eddie boy!" Joker laughs, pressing his face against the bars to catch a glimpse of the man in the cell next to his. He knows Riddler's scowling, because Riddler hates him. The boy's no murderer, most of the criminals in their block aren't.
"What do you need, clown?" Riddler grumbles, unlocking his cage and standing where he can see Joker. The guards let him, used to it and knowing he won't help any of the other inmates 'cheat' their way out. They wouldn't be able to stop him escaping anyways.
"Do ya know why tha staff's so worked up?" Joker asks casually, knowing the other was too scared of him to refuse answering. Which was a pity, because Joker actually liked him.
"There's a new psychiatrist coming in tomorrow." Riddler answered, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "Is that all? I'm a very busy man, you know; I don't have time to waste on this nonsense."
"Since when does a newbie cause this much fuss?" Joker wagged his finger scoldingly, still smiling. "You're hiding something, Eddiekins. You know I don't like that."
The briefest flash of panic went through Riddler's eyes, gone so quickly most people would have thought him entirely unfazed. "If you must know, she volunteered to transfer here. Practically begged for the position, from what I hear."
"What?!" Joker plopped down on the thing that was supposedly a bed, staring in disbelief. "Who volunteers for Arkham?"
"Dr Harleen Quinzel, apparently." Riddler answered, shrugging.
Across from Joker's cell, Jonathan Crane fell out of his bed where he'd been peacefully resting up until then, choking on his water as he struggled to stand. That demon of his squawked and growled while he recovered his southern voice. "Ed, please tell me ya didn' jus' say 'Harleen Quinzel'."
"You know I detest lying, Jon." Riddler replied, raising an eyebrow curiously. "Why? Do you know her?"
"She was one of mah students." Crane actually smiled fondly for a second as he sat down, petting his demon. "One of the brightest people ah ever met."
"I-I thought you hated your students?" Riddler asked, suddenly nervous.
"I did." Crane answered simply, his accent fading as he regained his focus. "She was a rare pleasure ta teach, though. Always challenging norms and asking questions, not at all like those dunderheads I would usually lecture. They couldn't grasp the very basics."
"You were fond of her?" Riddler was definitely nervous now, pushing himself subtly into the wall. "No falling outs or anything?"
"Not reall-" Crane squinted his eyes at his friend. "Ed, what do you know?"
"Know? I don-" He choked on the lie. "Two sisters, each gives birth to the other -- what are their names?"
"Edward, what are you hiding?" Crane was standing next to his bars now, glaring.
"Here's a hint; one sister says 'I am The Day.'"
"Da other says 'I am The Night.'" Joker answered gleefully, wondering if he should do something. Rune collar or no, Scarecrow was dangerous when upset, and usually managed to sneak in a vial or two of that Fear Toxin stuff.
"Very good!" Riddler praised. Yeah, he had to be absolutely panicking to praise Joker for something like that. "Do you know this one? What walks on four legs in the-"
"Ed!" Crane shouted, flashing a vial hidden in his palm just long enough for them to see, and Joker knew he definitely had to do something to deescalate this. It was always fifty-fifty on whether that stuff would work on him, but he'd found those odds much too high in the past. "Tell me what's wrong, or I swear..."
"She's been assigned to Joker." And with that, Riddler scurried back to his cell, probably hiding from the sudden onslaught of shouting from Crane.
Joker didn't know what Crane was saying, whether it was directed at him, or whether the Scarecrow had already screamed himself hoarse. All he could think about was that the Warden was an utter moron.
Seasoned psychiatrists had quit after hearing the sorts of things the Joker spouted. Even Doc Leland had taken a swing at him once, and she wasn't even disciplined afterwards -- it was a mild reaction, considering how far his act had gone that day. Yet they thought a newbie could handle him?!
He wasn't even entirely sure a newbie could remain sane if they were in the same room with him too long. He couldn't drop the act, it would ruin his reputation and destroy his power within the criminal community.
There was only one solution; he had to put on his creepiest smile, recall his most frightening crimes, and scare this new shrink off before Arkham broke her. It shouldn't be too hard, after all she was just young, innocent Harleen Quinzel.
Heh, how much challenge could one little Harlequin be for a master criminal like him?
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Comments carried over from AO3 (6)
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Not much of a Joker-and-Harley fan, but I enjoy this setting! Truly brings those Animated series vibes with the way they're talking, and I'm always fond of seeing the headcanon that Harley was Jonathan's best student. That never gets old, and I think it adds a lot to their dynamic! :)
Thanks! I loved that scene in the animated series where Jonathan was raving like a lunatic as he gets dragged down the hall, only to switch to civil and friendly long enough to return Harley's cheerful greeting.
I wasn't much of a Harley/Joker fan until I started reading fanfics where they were pretty much platonic soulmates, and now I'm hooked on the idea. Good Person Joker is my favorite non-canon interpretation of him.
"Good evening, child". They were ADORABLE XD
That scene cracked me up, and honestly what convinced me too that they knew each other beforehand, as teacher-and-student ^^
Oh that's great! I've definitely seen some pretty interesting non-threatening versions of him (including some from old canons) or even a healthy Joker/Harley.
If you want a semi-canon good bond for them, the Lego Batman movie is a blessing. It's super fun and made by fans who used bunch of references, Harley/Joker as a cute platonic couple is fantastic in this universe!
I'm glad you like it! Platonic Joker/Harley is surprisingly fun to write. Though, if I didn't ship Batjokes and Ivyquinn so much, I'd ship healthy Joker/Harley in a heartbeat.
Jonathan was a psychology teacher, Harley was a psychology student, it just makes so much sense that they knew each other. And their friendship is always so adorable and fluffy!
Awww, look at that lovely former-teacher and favorite-student reunion! Surely Jonathan wasn't expecting to meet her again in *these* conditions, but... that was enjoyable! And for sure it melted his heart, somewhere under all the layers of burlap and fake coldness ;)
Also, I love Corvin, I think bonding Jon with a demon is a great idea. You bring it there very well, you were right to use your concept in this story too! It makes Jonathan more interesting, honestly :)
Thanks! And IKR? I love fics where Jonathan has a demon. I honestly can't see him without it now, it ironically humanizes him. And Corvin came out so much cuter than I meant, lol.
Corvin is very cute indeed!
And I get why this headcanon is so popular... after all, you could say Jon sort of *is* a demon, to an extent. I mean, in canon he transformed into the Scarebeast, a monster-version of him, even if he was unaware of this second personality. He truly is a sort of Dr Jekyll / mister Hyde. Gotta love that scary, old professor XD
It's like, technically I should hate him, but he's such a an interesting character! And I love Scarebeast so much. Though, is it true that in canon, Scarebeast is a cannibal? (I really hate that kind of stuff)
You preach to a choir there, Jonathan is on my all-time top 5 favorite DC characters ;)
Well I won't recommend you read the Scarebeast issues, then. To his sort of 'defense', Jon was actually manipulated and turned into the beast against his will (by a doctor working under Penguin's orders. Creepy stuff honestly). I always have a problem with how edgy some canons get, but let's not consider it cannibalism (yuk, disgusted noise upon writing that word) since he technically turned into a *monster*, he was no longer human when he attacked, bit and killed people under his Scarebeast form.
Sorry, you probably wanted other references than this specific arc of his... But he pretty much was the victim in the whole deal!
I've recently taken to reading the comics. While there are some very interesting plotlines, I really hate how graphic some of them are. I especially hate how psychologically disturbing some of them are. I've read over a dozen by now, and there's only like two I'd be willing to reread, despite liking a lot of the plots.
I find the idea of Jonathan getting turned into a beast without knowing/against his will really interesting, but I don't like the bit about killing/biting people. Same problem I have with my love for werewolves, now that I think about it.
I fully get you! Both for the werewolves thing and the not-liking some disturbed storylines.
I'm not sure what fics of mine you read, but there is a deep-rooted hatred for the reboot in every single one of them XD. Plus for unecessary edgy arcs, that honeslty tend to ruin characters (Like Riddler. Current canon!Riddler is definitely ruined for me, while he was wonderful in the previous continuity)
If you want good Scarecrow stories, there's definitely the comics that prolong the Animated Series, in which among others he cries when Robin!Dick brings up his former love for teaching. It's beautiful ^^
I know it's a classic, but Long Halloween never gets old. Scarecrow doesn't have a main role in it, but his appearances are striking and he is buddy with Mad Hatter. Scarecrow: Year One may be relatively recent, it's a great story line (the ending is utterly disappointing, but his backstory-telling is nice, and the aesthetic very neat). Among others ^^
I didn't read it, but I saw parts of that one storyline where Scarecrow tries to return to teaching and becomes hyper protective over a student. I like the idea that (fear experiments aside) Jonathan's actually a really good teacher.
Is Long Holloween the one where Scarecrow, Penguin, and Mad Hatter get tricked into what's basically a haunted house by Batman?
And is the whole Mad Hatter/Scarecrow/Riddler Dork Squad friendship canon?
Good teacher Jon for the win <3
That's the first issue of Batman: The Dark Knight Annual, with the three of them in the haunted house. Not too much plot, some traumatic childhood memories discussed, good designs and a spooky halloween ambiance (because it indeed occurs on Halloween). It's relatively good, even if I believe it could have been much better with proper humor (I mean, three villains locked in a haunted house? that sounds like the beginning of a joke!), and instead it comes off dark and gloomy. Typical New 52.
Long Halloween on the other hand, is a story by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale that focuses on Batman, Harvey (pre-Two Face) and a mysterious killer whose first murder occurs on Halloween. It's a noir detective genre, with heavy investigation plot and every major rogue making at least an appearance during the full year over which Bruce, Harvey and Jim Gordon try to catch that killer. It's a long story, but truly one of the best comic books you can read without having to check for references first. Even people who don't like DC much but enjoy detective stories can have a great time with this one. And Scarecrow rides a horse at some point: that's super badass, but I admit he isn't the main focus XD
Feeling like that'll be a disappointment but... no, the Dork Squad isn't canon. Jonathan and Jervis often work together so it's safe to assume they're friends at least in the main continuity, Jonathan and Edward worked together too (though a lot less), and that's about it. While the Sirens are a canon trio (even if Catwoman being friend with Harley and Ivy comes up later in the main continuity, while Harl and Pamela were buddies even back then in the Animated series), the Dork Squad isn't.
But given how fast writers create alternate universes, I don't doubt they might be buddies somewhere XD
Now I kinda want to read Long Holloween. As well, I love the Harvey-Bruce friendship. Adds depth to the whole Twoface storyline.
That was a great story!
Joker and Harley's bond is definitely touching there, glad they found each other :)
I wasn't thinking you'd make her fall into acid in this verse, but that was a well-written scene, and it's nice to see Joker rushing to help her out.
And awww, the energy in that drawing is lovely! Harley looks mischievous, adorable and up to no good! Plus it's cool that you mixed her post-reboot looks with her original outfit. Good job!
Original Harley will always be my favorite, but I just fell in love with the dyed hair thing. It took me just under and hour and a half to draw all her different outfits, lol.
I wasn't going to have her fall into the acid, but I thought it would explain her similar abilities to Joker in the previous fics. Though she was affected much less, thanks to Joker pulling her out (which was such a fun scene to write, showing how much he's bonded to her at this point).
These are good aesthetic choices!
And it's cool to make them share the dive-into-acid but in a sort of 'positive' way, for once. Nice idea :)
It's supposed to be a positive version of Harleen going to a life of crime, after all, so I thought it would be fun to turn a moment that's traditionally one of the most abusive (Joker tries to turn Harley into a copy, thinking she probably won't survive, and she goes along with it) into something more good-natured.
That's a great point of view you bring up, and I love this bond for your characters!
Oh and, the accents coming and going depending on how they want to "appear" is a nice touch :)
Also, regarding the canon events: to be fair, even if I'm not a Joker fan, I dislike the "pushing Harley into acid" reboot story. Initially, she simply joined him out of love (that was not positive though, as he *indeed* was abusive), I think there was no need to change their early partnership by making Joker dump her into a van of acid. I stick with her first origin story in my verses because I prefer it, but I must say it was pleasant there, to read a reboot-inspired villain origin for her that has a positive side! Very refreshing ^^
Original Harley will always be my favorite, and I haven't really seen many other versions of outside of fanfics, but my sister is OBSESSED with Harley. I've heard pretty much everything related to reboot Harley. I still prefer the concept of Harley just being hyper athletic/strong on her own merits, rather than mutated.
And, honestly, what are the chances that she'd be able to survive just like he did? It feels a bit like they were trying to basically make her female Joker, rather than Harley Quinn. But it was still fun to play with the concept, and lets me explain her fourth-wall breaking abilities.
Yeah I agree. She's better as her own character rather than basing her abilities out of chemicals. Same for Pamela, same for Jervis to some extent. I much prefer when they're skilled people who worked hard, rather than mutants with sort of supernatural strength / abilities.
And still fun to read about the concept ^^
I like the version where Poison Ivy starts off as a regular person, but then becomes a plant mutant for some reason or other. I only recently found out about Mad Hatter's connection to chemicals and utterly despise it (I really hate drug addiction storylines). I like the version of Jervis whose main strength are his mind-controlling cards, his technology skills, and his ability to seem weaker than he is.
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I love how this all tied together! And the bits about why their accents change were really insightful into who they are.
Thank you, I'm glad you like it! I love writing accents, especially to show mental states, even though I'm not the best at it.
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