20 sparksChapter 1: If You Knew Time As Well As I Do
Clock King: It's been precisely two hours and sixteen minutes since I was last insulted.
Mad Hatter: Oh, that's good..?
Clock King: And two point five minutes since I was last assaulted, but we don't need to talk about that.
Mad Hatter: Wait, what?
Clock King: On with the heist! We have a schedule to keep, Jervis.
Mad Hatter: Wait, no, you can't just skip over that, Temple! Who hurt you?
Clock King: Just a mugger, I dealt with him. We are already thirty seconds behind schedule, we must-
Mad Hatter, stomping angrily: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!
Cops, attracted by the noise: Put your hands where we can see them!
---later, in Arkham---
Edward: So, how'd you get caught?
Jervis, pouting: Brotherly love.
(Across the rec room)
Xavier: So, how'd you get caught?
Temple, fondly grumpy: Brotherly idiocy.
Chapter 2: You'd Know He's A 'He', Not An 'It'
Child Jervis, after breaking a rule: Mom's not gonna like this...
Child Temple: If you get in trouble, I'll act as your lawyer, alright?
Jervis: Alright.
---later---
Their mom: Jervis? Sit down in that chair, you're in trouble.
Temple, whispering: Deny everything.
Jervis, loudly: That's not a chair!
Chapter 3: We Mustn't Be Late
I can't decide if Jervis would connect his brother to Time or the White Rabbit.
Temple: I do not see why you insist on my meeting your friends, Jervis.
Jervis: My friends are important to me, Temple. Besides, they're excited to meet you!
Temple: You know I dislike people. They are noisy, and messy, and-
Jervis: My friends will be on their best behavior, I promise. -opens door to hideout-
People screaming and running, paint sprayed everywhere, remnants of a food fight are visible, blinking lights, feral animals, general Rogue things
Temple, having an OCD breakdown: -emits high pitch whine-
Jervis: Unfortunately, I forgot that this is their best behavior. -tries to comfort his brother-
Joker, covered in paint and food and who-knows-what-else: Hey, yer Tetchy's brother, right? -claps Temple on the arm- Nice ta meet ya!
**Jervis, eyes wide**: Oh no-
Temple: -stares at Joker's hand for five seconds- AAAAAH! -starts hitting Joker with his briefcase-
Jervis: ...Well, this went better than I thought it would.
Chapter 4
Temple was a lawyer, before he became a Supervillain
Jervis: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my hypothetical donut shop who have the same last name?
Temple: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally... I am unsure, I've never been good at that sort of thing.
Jervis: I believe the White Queen would be on my side when it comes to Duncans' Donuts.
Chapter 5: I've Given Up On Quote Names
Jervis, bragging to Temple: While you were caught up in your heterosexuality, -raises axe - I studied the way of the blade! -falls over due to axe being too heavy-
Temple, texting his wife: Well, I always was the smarter one.
Chapter 6: Because I'm Too Tired To Find My Copy Of Alice
How did a single sentence quote become this?
Jervis: My level of queer has reached 'sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me'.
Temple, staring at his phone: ...My wife just texted me that she's pregnant.
Jervis: -starts to sigh deeply-
Jervis: Wait, WHAT?
Temple: It appears I am a father.
Jervis, hopping around: I'M AN UNCLE!
Temple: Babies are the ultimate example of what I despise about humanity.
Temple: They are needy, noisy, messy, and contribute nothing.
Jervis: ...
Temple, whining: ...so why am I so happy? And terrified? Since when do those emotions coincide!?
Jervis: Actually, according to the March Hare-
Temple, not listening: Oh Kronos, I don't know the first thing about being a father, I can barely interact with adults! I-
Temple: -keeps switching between utter panic and excitedly rambling about baby names-
Jervis, whispering: I'm an uncle.
Jervis: -happy Hatter noises-
Chapter 7: Maybe I'll Change The Chapter Names Later
Jervis, on pain meds in Arkham Med Wing, to Temple: Wow, left handed AND British? You have to be a hallucination.
Temple: Oh good, he isn't injured too badly.
Nurse: What makes you say that?
Temple: He's just as coherent as usual.
Jervis: -giggles at thin air-
Chapter 8: Probably Not
Teenaged Jervis: There's nothing to do...
His parents: You could do the dishes you promised to do a week ago.
Jervis, taking out a copy of Alice: Nevermind.
Teenaged Temple: I already did them anyways.
Chapter 9: I Wonder(land) If Any One Actually Read The Titles
Jervis: You should change your passwords to 'incorrect'.
Temple: Why?
Jervis: Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you 'your password is incorrect'.
Temple, confused: But I don't forget things..?
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Comments carried over from AO3 (2)
These were left on the original AO3 posting and are shown as they appeared there.
"Happy Hatter Noises" needs to be a fic name.
Glad you liked it. 😁
This needs to become a more important family lore and ''ship '' ! I do really like the dynamic between these two
Wacky Mad Hatter and rigid Clock King being hyper-loyal brothers is such a fun dynamic, I hope more authors end up exploring it. Glad you like the fic! 😊
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