57 sparksChapter 2: Dad Doesn't Want Dog, Family Gets Dog Anyways. Dad And Dog
In my head, Cassandra's, like, a six year old.
//middle of the night, in the back yard of Wayne Manor
Damian: I've invited you here because I crave the most dangerous game...
Jason, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Damian: I was actually going to say Assassin, but now I'm really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is.
Tim: Wait, what's Assassin?
Cassandra: -jumps out of a tree, dual-wielding swords-
Tim and Jason: -scream-
Damian: Scatter!
Dick, looking out the window, too tired to deal with this: Alfred! Bruce got me monkeys instead of siblings!
Tim, running for his life: How do you win Assassin?!
Damian: Don't die!
Jason: Too late!
Alfred, easily catching Cassandra: That joke is getting old, Sir.
Jason: That joke nev- oh, shit.
Tim: Busted...
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Comments carried over from AO3 (14)
These were left on the original AO3 posting and are shown as they appeared there.
Omg, Moth shenanigans! I shall now refer to Cassandra as Thumper. Also, maybe this is the moment the family gets an undead moth that trolls them.
😂
Okay, now I want a slice of life show called, "The Wayne's".
Yes! That needs to be a thing.
Cass being a 6yo is really cute, actually! Like instead of competing with Jason over who's second eldest she could steal the (former) baby-assasin title from a begrudgingly welcoming Damian.
Yes! She is best baby-assassin. (Fun fact: unhyphenated, that becomes really terrible: baby assassin)
(do baby-assassins start out by being baby assassins? Or do they work up to it? Are adults easier or harder to assassinate? Why am I asking these questions?)
I love how wired Jason is!
In my mind, every Batkid is an agent of chaos, but Jason is the one that does it on purpose.
Oh totally. Dick's just trying to prevent bodily damage while accidentally setting off the butterfly affect, Tim's too sleep deprived to avoid the chaos and just goes along with it, Damian doesn't think it counts as his chaos if there's someone else to blame, and Cass is the patron saint of calamity.
Yes! Exactly.
Is Damian sliding down the banister like the kid he isn't? Or is he being freaking by walking on the banister like it's a balance beam without falling and dying.
Option two. He's literally just walking down it and completely ignoring gravity, either due to assassin skills or demon magic (Ra's Al Ghûl is a demon or half demon and no one can change my mind, thus making Damian part demon).
Damian is suspiciously absent...
Did Damian go with Joker because he promised he didn't have to worry about stabbing ethics if he let Joker borrow Goliath? Are they bonding over Goliath being 'adorable' while trying to eat someone and an appreciation for formal wear? Is Damian managing to convince Joker to wear darker colors and blend into the shadows? Did Joker agree only if Damian let him do a bit of makeup on him?
This could be a whole story on its own.
Oh my stars, I didn't even think about all that! Yes, to all of it!
Love Jason's response, it's peek sibling energy. I have fond memories of responding to my brother by saying 'YOUR [last thing he said]'.
Strangely enough, I don't think my sisters and I have ever said this to each other. Glad to know it actually does happen, and isn't just a fiction thing.
What? Did Bruce write an essay with sources or something? "Evidence Supporting the Theory that I am Bisexual (and/or Biromantic) by Bruce Wayne, peer read by Harleen Quinzel"
This. This is the best thing I've ever heard! The idea of Harley peer reviewing is just perfect! Now I'm imagining Harley being Batman's therapist...
Your Kitrina/Jason dynamic is so cute!
Thanks! I needed a place to put my Bat/Cat ship after I realized I shipped Batjokes. Then I found out Catwoman had a sidekick, made her Catwoman's daughter, and this nonsense somehow happened.
(Note that neither of Jason's ending sentences have the letter 'A' in them.)
Oh my stars, how did I not notice that?!
💚💚💚💚💚💚
That's such a cute headcannon!
Thank you!
But...but Tim's second sentence had an "a" in it. He said "can".
Jason succeeded though lol
The joke itself is so hypocritical, which I love. Glad you enjoyed 😊
That's precious
I'm glad you enjoyed it 😊
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