90 sparksChapter 7: In Which Ivy Apologizes, Everyone Gangs Up On Jonathan, And Barbara Gordon Enters The Chat
Here's the aftermath of Halloween!
Oh, and the first mention in this series of Corvin, the field Spirit (previously Demon but recent events have made me decide to change it) that Jonathan is bonded to/possessed by.
[Plant Princess Harley]: Brucie? Bruce?
[Plant Princess Harley]: Bats?
[Plant Princess Harley]: Are you still giving us the silent treatment?
[BruceTheBat]: I'm not 'giving you the silent treatment', I'm not a child.
[BruceTheBat]: I'm just carefully crafting my admonishments of the faculty like a good coordinator.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: Honestly, I think you're overreacting a little. It was just a dress.
[BruceTheBat]: Ivy, in what world did you think that outfit was in any way appropriate to wear around teenagers? It was 90% fishnet.
[BruceTheBat]: I've had to do drug searches on you that resulted in me seeing less skin.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: THE NEED TO COVER OURSELVES AT ALL TIMES AS IF OUR SKIN WAS SOMETHING DIRTY AND WRONG IS AN INVENTION OF MEN TO OPPRESS US
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: I have every right to fight the patriarchy with my natural bodily form.
[BruceTheBat]: But not around KIDS!
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: ...okay, fine. You have a point there.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: I might've made a bit of a misjudgment with that one.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: My bad. Sorry.
[Haigha]: Isley? Apologizing? Great, now Corvin will insist on watching through the windows for flying pigs.
[BruceTheBat]: Don't you even start, Crane.
[BruceTheBat]: The school is officially hiring a therapist because of you.
[Haigha]: At their age, these children should be much more resilient to a bit of Halloween fun.
[Haigha]: Really, getting worked up over a few fake mummies and a basically-fake haunting. It's ridiculous!
[Dormouse]: I would change your name to something insulting, but Jervis likes it too much and I won't punish him for your misdeeds.
[Dormouse]: I'll just have to concoct a different manner of vengeance against you.
[Haigha]: Wait why are YOU mad at me, Steph's seen way worse before. She's fine.
[Dormouse]: That she is, but her FRIENDS aren't. Not her civilian ones, anyways.
[Dormouse]: She's been inconsolable about it. Apparently several of them won't stop having nightmares and one's developed claustrophobia because he spent all of Halloween hiding in a small cabinet because of you.
[Dormouse]: I'm going to get you for this, Jon.
[Haigha]: I... So the therapy thing isn't just the normies overreacting? Corvin and I really did scare those kids that badly with our little pranks?
[Dormouse]: YES!
[Dormouse]: You broke the rule, Jonathan. You have to pay for that.
[BruceTheBat]: The rule??
[Dormouse]: Repeat the rule, everybody.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: You don't hurt kids.
[Croc]: evn if itmeans yu fayl
[Ready For My Close Up]: Even if it means you end up in Arkham
[Nora's Husband]: Even if it means you lose vital research
[Plant Princess Harley]: Even if it means you lose a bet!
[Royal Fool]: even if youre having a bad day and really need to hit SOMETHING and tgeyre the only things around
[Hatta]: Even if you think you're saving them from a Jabberwock or other monster, as their parents can and will protect them far better
[Two For One Special]: Even if you have to defy Fate or the Coin itself
[Emperor Penguin]: Even if it's for money.
[Kitty Cat Burglar]: Or other shiny things.
[Haigha]: And, besides the Robins, even if it's just pretend.
[Haigha]: Huh. I suppose I perhaps miscalculated a little bit.
[Haigha]: Fine, Edward, I will submit to your vengeance on behalf of our students. But if you dare use my own Toxin against me again, I'm tying you up and making you watch me shred every puzzle book you own.
[Dormouse]: Boundary accepted!
[Dormouse]: Other parents present, I'm making a new group chat for The Vengeance On Jonathan Planning Committee. Let us discuss strategy after we're done here, yes?
[Kitty Cat Burglar]: Sounds delightful, Eddikins
[Emperor Penguin]: I of course cannot agree to anything that may or may not be considered outside the purview of law, however justified
[Emperor Penguin]: But I will still attend your group, if only to make sure things don't get out of hand.
[Haigha]: I'm doomed, aren't I?
[Emperor Penguin]: Very much so, yes.
[Two For One Special]: Yeah so we really want a bit of revenge for Du's normie friends too, but we need to talk about something else first.
[Two For One Special]: Bruce, did you say we're getting a therapist???
[BruceTheBat]: Yes. The school doesn't have a counselor of any sort, and after what happened on Halloween, it's been decided that was a grave oversight.
[BruceTheBat]: So a member of Arkham staff is being transferred here.
[Ready For My Close Up]: Wait, we're getting an ARKHAM shrink???!
[Plant Princess Harley]: Ohhh! 🤩
[Plant Princess Harley]: Who who?! Is it anyone we know?
[Royal Fool]: cpurse we know em harls theyre from the ol homestead
[Royal Fool]: more importantly how much fo they hate us
[Croc]: ye ths is unfayr u cnt mayk usc wrk with our doctirs
[Dormouse]: One of the only good points about this place was getting AWAY from those simple-minded wannabe braincrackers.
[Haigha]: Harleen and I both used to work there, you know.
[Dormouse]: Apologies, Quinn. You are of course an exception.
[Plant Princess Harley]: Awww thanks Eddie 🥰
[Haigha]: Really? No-one else?
[Dormouse]: Well, I suppose Doc Leland's not too bad either.
[Haigha]: Seriously?!
[Dormouse]: What do you expect? I'm still mad at you.
[Croc]: so hoo we getin
[Royal Fool]: yeah Darling who?
[BruceTheBat]: A Doctor Gretchen Whistler.
[Dormouse]: You're kidding, right?
[BruceTheBat]: I don't 'kid' about anything.
[BruceTheBat]: Why?
[Dormouse]: She's literally my assigned therapist. Croc's too.
[Croc]: didnt get along at 1st bu shes nic
[Dormouse]: Regardless, we cannot WORK with her!
[BruceTheBat]: Why not? It's not like you particularly care about conflicts of interest.
[Haigha]: He's just worried she's going to lecture him about how many riddles he secretly graffitied around the school.
[Dormouse]: I'M ALREADY MAD AT YOU AND UOU BETRAY ME??
[Hatta]: I love you both dearly, please don't get me wrong, but it appears the March Hare's been around you too long!
[BruceTheBat]: I'm sorry you did WHAT now?
[Dormouse]: And besides, what are we going to do about the group chat?
[Dormouse]: Your real identity's all over this thing, Bats.
[BruceTheBat]: Why would she be part of this group chat?
[Dormouse]: Because she's a member of faculty??
[BruceTheBat]: So's the school nurse, and she's not in here.
[Dormouse]: We have a nurse?
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: Of course we have a nurse. Do you even have the slightest idea of how highschool works??
[Dormouse]: Only when I want to, which I rarely do.
[Ready For My Close Up]: What???
[Haigha]: He hid most of his highschool memories away in that mind palace of his, he can only remember them if he actively takes them out.
[Two For One Special]: What the fuck kind of freak are you?
[Hatta]: Oh no.
[Dormouse]: I'm not a 'freak'. I'm just intelligent.
[Dormouse]: And you two of all people have no place to talk, half-face.
[Two For One Special]: Ed, Harv didn't mean anything by that.
[Two For One Special]: Yes I did.
[Two For One Special]: Ed?
[Two For One Special]: Ed come on, it was a joke. And 'half-face' definitely fucking makes up for it.
[Dormouse]: I apologize for that comment, actually. Because things like this are not a tit-for-tat. It was unfair of me.
[Two For One Special]: That's not forgiveness, is it?
[Haigha]: Not even close.
[BruceTheBat]: You know, now that I think about it, perhaps it would be better for the therapist to be a part of this chat.
[BruceTheBat]: The goal is you guys healing, after all, which an Arkham therapist would definitely be good for.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: Ha!
[Royal Fool]: oh look batsy made a funny
[BruceTheBat]: And besides, she's here because of you guys and would be a good, impartial bridge between you and the kids.
[Nora's Husband]: I agree that would most likely be a good thing, but what of your identity?
[BruceTheBat]: I'll have Oracle fix up something to block any mention of my name from her screen.
[Ready For My Close Up]: She can do that???
[Dormouse]: At this point, I'd believe Oracle could do just about anything. We're only safe because she finds the world as-is too entertaining to conquer.
Oracle has added themself to group chat
[Oracle]: This is true.
Comments (0)
No comments yet. Be the first to send some love!
Comments carried over from AO3 (16)
These were left on the original AO3 posting and are shown as they appeared there.
PLEASE write more!!! 🤍🤎♥️❤️💙💚💛💜🖤🧡🩷🩶🩵🫀❤️🔥
It has been done! 😁 😁 😁
Happy spooky season! 🎃🎃🎃
🎃🎃🎃
The frozen-hearted mad scientist is all their dad, and the undead-tree feminist is their aunt. This should tell you how crazy Gotham is 😂
Seriously, amazing fic 😍, can't wait for the next chapter!
Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed! 😁
This is a lot of fun! (I can't keep track of everyone and don't know a couple characters but that's on me and it's still soo good!!!)
1 Gothams Plant Queen - Poison Ivy
2 Bruce The Bat - Batman/Bruce Wayne
3 Dormouse - Riddler
4 Ready For My Close Up - ClayFace
5 Haigha - Scarecrow
6 Hatta - Mad Hatter
7 Emperor Penguin - Penguin
8 Nora's Husband - Mr Freeze
9 Kitty Cat Burglar - Catwoman
10 Plant Princess Harley - Harley Quinn
11 Royal Fool - Joker
12 Two For One Special - Two-Face
13 Croc - Killer Croc
14 Manny - Manbat ➖ Langstrom
Hope this helps!
Poison Ivy is a reborn feminist & plant activist, who has a poisonous kiss, that can hypnotize men.
Riddler is an obsessive genius, who dresses in green spandex, and does does crime and leaves clues. He also makes giant mazes, which he traps people in. He is obsessed with batman and showing his intelligence. He got cancer, cured it with the Lazarus Pits, and came back and became a villain. He has a ❓ shaped cane. His theme is question marks.
Batman is a rich man who saw his parents murdered when he was a kid. He left Gotham, trained for many years, and now fights crime in a bat suit (and keeps adopting kids/sidekicks).
ClayFace is... A giant pile of goo? He used to be an actor, and thinks his roles are who he actually is (schizophrenic). He can also shapeshift.
Scarecrow is an ex psychologist, who specialized in fear. He now dresses as a scarecrow and spreads his Feartoxin (a substance that makes you relive you worse fear, tho that varies depending on series), he also used to be a teacher, and it is a popular head canon that he taught Harley. He also hates Christians, and has religious trauma from his great-grandmother.
Mad Hatter is an ex neurologist, who went insane, thought he was the mad hatter, and that his coworker was Alice, hypnotized her, and speaks in rhymes (tho this writer usually tones down his worse parts, as well as other characters worse parts).
Penguin is a rich mobster? Pretty much the only non-insane rogue. He almost never gets caught, if he does he goes to an actual prison, not the asylum. The most successful out of all of them, if you ask me. He also runs the Iceberg Lounge, hotspot for crime in Gotham.
Mr Freeze is the saddest batman villain... He does crime to try and save his dying wife, who is currently in cryostasis. He is stuck in a survival suit? Kinda like a space suit, he is stuck in it, because he requires below freezing temperatures to survive (because of a lab accident). He uses technology to freeze things in his crimes. He is a cryogenics scientist. 🩵 His wife's name is Nora.
Catwoman is a cat burglar, who dresses as a cat. She flirts with batman a lot. She is very sassy. Her and Bruce (batman) were friends as kids. They both fall in love as Selina (her savilian identity) and Bruce, while fighting as Catwoman and Batman, not knowing each other's identities.
Harley Quinn was a psychologist at Arkham, with some mental issues of her own. She was assigned to joker, fell for him, helped him escape, and became a villain with him. She dresses as a clown (a Harlequin), and works with joker. She is basically the embodiment of cotton candy. She acts kinda like if you gave a child a bunch of candy and coffee, and then set them free in an amusement park. She is also good at acrobatics.
Joker is an insane clown. He was a low-level criminal, who worked for a criminal ring called the Red Hood, until they had him pretend to be their leader, batman fought him, and he fell in a vat of chemicals. He somehow survived, but lost his sanity. He is obsessed with batman (and in love with him). The accident bleached his skin, and turned his lips bright red and his hair green. He dresses a a clown (a joker) and poisons people with his joker venom (which in canon makes them laugh, and then kills them, tho in fannon people often soften that so that it just makes them laugh, or makes them go into a coma). He is Batman's greatest foe.
Two-Face was an amazing lawyer in Gotham. Trying to clean up the city. He was a friend of Bruce's. He also had split personality disorder. Through out high school and his adult life, he pushed down any violent or aggressive thoughts, which became Big Bad Harv. All of which he was able to hide and manage, until an accident happen, leaving half his body covered in scars, leaving him blaming the police and batman for this, and letting Harv out to play. Harv formed to protect young Harvey, but ended up becoming the scum he hated most. As they fight against each other, they use a special coin to decide who makes the decisions.
Killer Croc is... A deformed crocodile-man? Sorry, honestly don't know much about him.
Manny is Manbat ➖ Langstrom. He is kinda a character made by this author? (Tho taken from a real character?). Manny is very adorable, and basically a giant child. Everyone loves Manny. Cannon - Langstrom a scientist who studied bats. He experimented on himself, mixing bat DNA into his, turning himself into a kinda a giant bat. Bruce Wayne (batman) made a cure for him, turning him back into a human. Langstrom reinfected himself (on purpose), and turned himself back into Manbat. He was also mistaken as batman at first.
Hope this helps!
PS: most my understanding of this comes from fandom and my sisters ramblings. So, maybe take this with a grain of salt!
PS: my sister just told me that Langstrom did NOT purposely reinfect himself (depending on cannon the cure was faulty, it was a split personality, the stuff that turned him was addictive, or someone else reinfected him). I was thinking of creeper (a different character, who is basically mini-joker, and I like to change him so that he is Joker's adopted son). My bad.
Ohmygosh this is so amazing!!! (also THE RIDDLER WAS IN THE PITS?! WHAT?!) THIS IS SO GOOD! I feel like this should be pinned to most fannon works so those of use who just read the fics know what's happening!!! <3
Glad I could help 😊
I made it into a fic! 😊
https://archiveofourown.org/works/75081156
I'm so glad you like it! Thanks!
Yeah, with as big a cast as Batman as, this fandom really is a coin toss on knowing who anyone is 😂
I'd explain, but it seems like someone beat me to it... How kind. :)
OMG this is amazing!
Vic just coming in and fixing it 😂 he is ALL of their dad 😂
Please write more! 🥺🧐
Thanks! No more yet, sorry :/ Glad you enjoyed, though! 😁
One of the funniest things I have read in a while, speant a good amount of time laughing inbetween in each bit
Aw, thank you! I absolutely LOVE knowing I made someone laugh. 😁 😁 😁
(Previous comment deleted.)
Thank you! 😍
I'm glad you enjoyed it 😀
(Previous comment deleted.)
Ah, sorry, but no. People close to me have dealt with scammers, hackers, and even stalkers in the past, so I don't connect with anyone online unless I know them in real life. And besides that, I don't really use social media. I'm glad you like the fic, though! 😁
Those nicknames are diabolical. Also not a foc I'm gonna read in class I had to wheeze so hard so many times. I think my highlight was "the last of the waynes"
1) Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying and like the nicknames. I love knowing I made someone laugh 😊
2) What does foc mean?
3) Why do so many people read my fics during class?? 🤣
1) you're welcome 😊
2 I meant fic. My phone broke I can barely type anymore 😭
3) bc class is boring lol
Dang what school r they in
Ours still has chemistry equipment from a past country (no joke) and our sun system tables sill list Pluto as a planet.
Also I want Joker as chemistry teacher I'm bad at it anyway might as well die in school 😭
A very, very crazy school, is what they're in XD
Okay, so I was homeschooled and I knew school equipment is usually outdated, but I didn't know it could be THAT bad 😯
I'm glad you're enjoying the fic 😊
I love it
Where I'm from home school isn't allowed so I assumed my pain was universal lol
Can't be a public school that's for sure lol
It weirds me out that they can ban homeschool anywhere. Parents should have the right to teach their kids themselves. Formal, external schooling should always be optional, in my opinion.
It doesn't help that public schools basically all suck XD
Ok now I gotta ask what scarecrows nickname means. Mabye I'm nott American enough to understand?😭
Oh, right, I forgot that this isn't common knowledge — in 'Alice Through The Looking Glass', it's revealed that the March Hare and the Hatter have actual names: Haigha and Hatta.
1. How does Fries type when he has gloves on
2. ENSLAVING people as TEACHERS is just double cruelty someone call human resources or the un or whoever is in Charge for that
3. How is a mental asylum for the criminally insane worse than a public school (especially in America no offense)
4. Joker is right. Coffee isn't fun
i laughed so w my life at Harv's contact name 😭
The nicknames are the best part of a chat fic, honestly XD
Glad to know I made you laugh. Query: what does 'so w my life' mean?
Thanks for commenting! :)
NOT TWO-FACE TALKING TO HIMSELF KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
It's not Twoface if he's not talking to himself 😂
I'm glad you're enjoying! 😁
Lol, now I want an entire fic about the kids school group chat 😆
[Dormouse]: My friendship with Oswald may have involved a little bit of mild childhood brainwashing, but it's one I cherish nonetheless.
WTAF 😂😂😂
I love Eddie+Twosie SO MUCH! THEY ARE ADORABLE!!!
The amount of times I had to muffle giggles bc my spouse is sleeping probably exceeded once per chapter I love them <3
Log in or join free to leave a comment. Guests can still send sparks!